How to overcome anxiety in a relationship: do not be afraid to lose a man
It is not uncommon for girls to experience fear of loss in a relationship with the man they love. Anxiety state can provoke problems and conflicts, which will really become a reason for separation.
Psychologists note that anxiety states are not rare, but a kind of norm of behavior. People are so arranged: they hope for the best in crisis situations and become afraid of trouble as soon as life gets better. Nevertheless, with a sense of anxiety and fear of losing a loved one must be overcome, so as not to provoke unwanted conflicts, jealousy and mutual recriminations. There are several effective techniques to help girls get rid of compulsive fear.
1. It is important for a girl to understand that her chosen one – not the only man on earth. Even if your love is strong and your partner is perfect, you should not make an idol of him. Pay attention to other men should be at least in order to maintain self-esteem at a high level. Compliments from men – a way to prove their attractiveness and get rid of the inferiority complex, which can provoke fear of losing the man you love. This behavior keeps a man in tone and makes him fight for the relationship, which brings the partners even closer together.
2. A girl does not need to stop communicating with the opposite sex just because she is in a relationship. Boundaries do not need to be crossed, but light flirting and casual conversations with male friends will help overcome the fear of losing her chosen one. Often the relationship, which is so dear to the woman, immersed in them completely, in fact, are not ideal. But this can be understood only through communication. It is possible that a temporary crush is only an intermediate link that will later connect the girl with a really ideal suitor.
Communication with your beloved – it is not a reason to try to be perfect in everything. Fear of parting often occurs in those girls who are trying to become even better, forgetting that the man has already chosen, and therefore he was satisfied with everything. Of course, everyone needs to change for the better, but in pursuit of an imaginary ideal can easily lose its “I”, the charm and charm, for which a man and fell in love with his chosen one. Girls should remember that everyone has the right to a mistake, and therefore you can allow yourself to be weak and imperfect.
4. It is not always possible to immediately meet the person with whom you can spend the rest of your life. There can be many lovers in life, which means you don’t have to completely immerse yourself in every relationship and experience it as if it’s all for the last time. It is important for girls not to forget about self-esteem, because after the breakup there will be more meetings, and it is possible that they will bring much more vivid impressions.
5. Psychologists point out that men like it when there is ease and relaxedness in a relationship. A girl who is constantly afraid of losing her chosen one is unlikely to be able to add ease to communication, which means that conflicts will be inevitable. You should not behave as if the man is the only raft in the ocean, and keep him “tied” to you. Simplicity in the relationship is not achieved by jealousy and ultimatums, and conversations, when partners can hear each other and understand whether they are looking in the same direction. In this case, the couple is not in danger of breaking up because of trifles and far-fetched claims.
It is worth remembering that those who really suit each other, will not be afraid of any obstacles in the way. And those who started the relationship by mistake, it will be easier to break up and continue to look for his ideal.
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“What if he leaves me”: where this fear comes from and how to get rid of it.
Home Articles Perfect Love Relationships “And if he leaves me”: where this fear comes from and how to get rid of it.
Why are you afraid of losing a man? The 3 main reasons
The fear of losing a relationship with a man pushes a woman into a trap. And everything she starts to do out of a position of fear, sooner or later leads to a breakup. Why are women afraid of being abandoned and how to cope with it?
Fear of losing a man: what psychology says
If a woman is panically afraid of losing her loved one, then she has a very low self-esteem and she is in a dependent relationship. However, in general, the fear of losing a loved one is normal. For example, when such a threat is really there: the man pulled away, the relationship has become cool, something goes wrong. Here the relationship can also be psychologically healthy, if the person is simply trying to preserve the union. But a fear that is only based on speculation is no longer normal, it needs to be worked with. Usually it echoes the fear of loneliness. Where do they come from?
3 reasons why women are afraid of being dumped and grabbing for a partner:
Genetics. Fear can manifest itself at a genetic level. Think back to a time when women were completely dependent on a man – the sole breadwinner in the family. Back then, being left alone with children was really scary. Plus it was often shameful.
Insecurity combined with dependence, when a woman is dependent on a man financially or psychologically.
Past traumas, negative experiences and beliefs. For example, you were betrayed by an ex-partner and now you can not trust the man you love completely. You are afraid all the time that a scenario from the past will happen again.
How to understand that you are a prisoner of fear of losing a man:
- You make scandals on any occasion and are constantly tense;
- You are tormented by excessive suspicion, various speculations do not give a restful sleep. For example, her husband was late at work, and you have already painted a picture in his head, as he has fun with someone else;
- In your couple is no trust, you are afraid all the time that your chosen one will find someone better;
- You want a man to constantly tell you that he loves you, show it and start demanding proof of love;
- You check his phone, pockets, try to control him.
A woman who is afraid of being dumped has the same thoughts in her head: what if he has someone else; what if he’s bored/bad with me, so he did this and that; he’s hiding something, he doesn’t love me, I’m definitely worse than his ex or a colleague at work. All of the girl’s behavior indicates that she is unsure of the relationship, tense. The man feels this energy. And eventually he gets tired of being guilt-free. He gets tired of the questioning, the tantrums, the resentments, and leaves. This is the nightmare come true.
Fear of losing your loved one: what to do?
What to do with your fears? Understand what it is that scares you, to abstract and analyze your relationship and your own feelings. If you’re afraid of being alone, then imagine the worst – he left you. What then? Make a plan for how you will live your life. It is necessary that the girl has a safety cushion for this case. If you think you can not live a day without the man you love, it’s a definite addiction.
You are free people in spite of any formalities. And you’re together only because you both made that choice. Not because you were forced to live in the same house. Isn’t that right? Yes, he chose you, too. In any case, first of all, separate yourself as a person from the man. Next, work with your self-esteem. A woman who doubts her attractiveness, is not sure of herself, does not like herself, can not be happy in any relationship.
And lastly, work on trust in the relationship. Talk to the man about everything you care about. Don’t throw yourself into extremes, but look at the situation from the outside.
What you shouldn’t do:
- Try to please a man by all means;
- Try to test a man’s fidelity;
- Look for signs that your chosen one wants to leave you;
- obsess over his behavior, words, hold back hard feelings;
- provoke a scandal on any occasion or without it.
If you have long haunted by obsessive fear of losing your husband and you do not understand how to get rid of it yourself, go to a psychologist. Maybe with some kind of trauma you really can not cope. And your self-esteem is not going to grow by leaps and bounds. All this work on yourself, digging into your inner world, and often you cannot do without a specialist, without psychological help.
If you want to learn to live without fear of losing your loved one and become more confident under the guidance of an experienced mentor, come to the online course of Paul Rakov “Secrets of feminine happiness. Participants learn to love yourself, understand men, their psychology. After the training, men themselves are already afraid to lose them, and not vice versa. Other tips for achieving harmony in a couple can be found in the section “Perfect Relationships for Love.
Girls, tell me why you are afraid to lose a man? Share your experiences in the comments, answers are anonymous.