Ex-texting after a breakup – we study thoroughly

Why does he write after a breakup? 10 adequate ( and not so) reasons

Depending on how you feel, you can decide whether you should go back to your ex-boyfriend or if it’s better to forget him. This is a choice you will need to make consciously, and think it over well. After all, if a man texts you again, in most cases, this is a clear sign that he wants to restore the relationship. Therefore, we have prepared some tips on how you can get back to him.

  1. Again, take your time when it comes to responding to messages or talking to your past boyfriend. But keep an open mind, and see where it goes.
  2. Be frank and straightforward. Your ex may have ulterior motives for contacting you, so it’s important that you be very straightforward when texting or talking live. You may want to check to see how he responds to your directness. So you don’t need to hold yourself back.
  3. Examine your feelings well. After all, if you want to get back with him, even if you have some feelings, you have to check yourself and see if that’s what you really need. If you feel that re-establishing a relationship with this person is a road to nowhere, then why would you want all this?
  4. Talk to him live. At this point, if you feel comfortable with the idea of going back to your ex, then try meeting with him. Go out for coffee or something like that. And in a calm atmosphere talk about your relationship.

How a girl behave in this situation

Only having determined the reason for attention from her ex, a girl can decide on the tactics of her own behavior

If the ex-boyfriend continues to write messages after the breakup, the line of behavior should be built depending on her own attitude towards the situation. And also it is necessary to take into account the peculiarities of the young man’s character and the possible reasons for his desire to communicate further. In all circumstances it is necessary to keep calm and remember your own dignity.

When you can write a reply

If the breakup occurred by mutual consent of the parties, there is nothing wrong in an innocent correspondence. It is not uncommon for former lovers to remain on good friendly terms.

You should not tell the guy about your sufferings, share with him the events of life, ask the young man about his new hobby. It is desirable to take a neutral position – kindly and calmly respond to messages, not showing excessive initiative.

When it’s better not to answer

A girl shouldn’t reply to messages if she has even the slightest suspicion that her ex-boyfriend is manipulating her in an attempt to boost his own self-esteem. It’s especially not worth it if a guy writes out of boredom to kill time.

In the case where the young man still has fond feelings for her ex-girlfriend, she should listen to herself. If love is gone for good, it is better not to give an ex-boyfriend vain hopes and not to respond to his messages.

Girls do not always know how to react to messages from guys with whom they have broken up. Psychologists advise to decide on a line of behavior, understanding the motives of former lovers and not to give in to emotions.

Reasons why a man reminds you of himself:

There are feelings left (it is likely that the young man still loves you).

  • Resentment (men with a pinched ego, trying to get even at the expense of a woman – to taunt, to humiliate);
  • Jealousy (jealousy stems from love, infatuation or a sense of possessiveness);
  • Anger (If the woman left on her own and the partner wanted to save the relationship);
  • Love (A guy in love is ready to conquer mountains, some do not cease to seek the woman’s favor even after the breakup of the relationship);

2. Desire to keep friendly relations (it is extremely rare, however, it happens that a guy wishes to keep friendly relations).

The main reason men periodically write, call, look for an excuse to meet – they still have feelings for a woman. It is not necessarily a bright feeling of love, often aggression, pain and jealousy pushes members of the stronger sex to rash actions. The difference is easy enough to notice, even if the guy carefully hides his feelings. Women’s intuition and frank discussions will put everything in its place.

A girl should be very careful, taking calls from your ex-boyfriend. Pledges of love may be just an excuse to cover up the true intentions, for example, sex for one night.

Another reason for writing ex-partners is the desire to please the ego. This reason is especially true if the man knows that the woman continues to love him. Abstract away from these intrusive messages, calls. You run the risk of being used.

Do you want to give him another chance?

Whether it’s worth texting your ex if you miss him depends on whether you have feelings for your partner and whether you want to give the relationship another chance. If yes, then you need to find a way to let him know about it. In this case, you can write first after the breakup, as this will give both a chance to reconnect.

Understanding your partner’s feelings and finding out if he still wants to be with you is critical.

If you don’t find out if there is still a chance, you will regret it. You may miss out on the opportunity to be with the person you are truly meant to be with.

If not too much time has passed and the relationship didn’t end because of something that deeply violated his values or the trust between partners, then there is a good chance that you can get the relationship back with your ex.

Reasons why a man reminds you of himself:

There are feelings left (it is likely that the young man still loves you).

  • Resentment (men with a pinched ego, trying to get even at the expense of a woman – to taunt, to humiliate);
  • Jealousy (jealousy stems from love, infatuation or a sense of possessiveness);
  • Anger (If the woman left on her own and the partner wanted to save the relationship);
  • Love (A guy in love is ready to conquer mountains, some do not cease to seek the woman’s favor even after the breakup of the relationship);

2. Desire to keep friendly relations (it is extremely rare, however, it happens that a guy wishes to keep friendly relations).

The main reason men periodically write, call, look for an excuse to meet – they still have feelings for a woman. It is not necessarily a bright feeling of love, often aggression, pain and jealousy pushes members of the stronger sex to rash actions. The difference is easy enough to notice, even if the guy carefully hides his feelings. Women’s intuition and frank discussions will put everything in its place.

A girl should be very careful, taking calls from your ex-boyfriend. Pledges of love may be just an excuse to cover up the true intentions, for example, sex for one night.

Another reason for writing ex-partners is the desire to please the ego. This reason is especially true if the man knows that the woman continues to love him. Abstract away from these intrusive messages, calls. You run the risk of being used.

The third reason: you’ve started a life.

A happy woman has a magnet – a man is drawn to her. By starting a relationship in a fulfilled state, a woman focuses on the man, forgets about life in all its diversity. And empties herself.

Then for a long time, suffering for the man after the breakup, the woman does not live her life properly, remaining empty. Naturally, he doesn’t think of her. But when she starts living, doing the things she loves, socializing, enjoying herself, going on dates, creating career successes, the man feels this energy. The energy of life, positivity, success, enjoyment, and immediately appears. A filled, charged woman becomes interesting to him again.

If an ex shows up in your life and you are not going to renew your relationship with him, then remember these three tips.

He’s confused.

Men tend to be straightforward and if he texts you every day as if you never broke up, it may be a sign that he’s confused, bored, and doesn’t know what to do next. If at the same time, his pages on social networks are filled with philosophical utterances about the broken heart and loneliness, it speaks volumes. Maybe these posts are specifically written for you.

If the ex writes, it may indicate his confusion

He’s drunk.

It happens that exes write to exes after a raucous party. But if your ex-beloved writes you after every visit to the bar, it shows that he constantly thinks about you and can not forget.

If he texts you every day, it means he can’t get over you.

How do you respond to his messages?

It would be easy for you to go back to your old texting patterns with your ex-boyfriend, and you’ll have the urge to respond to him right away. After all, you’ve both been texting each other constantly for a long time, so you’ll want to respond to him quickly. But it is extremely important for you to think carefully before you proceed to respond. Analyze his texts, and try to understand exactly what he wants?

The best way to respond to his messages is simply to take your time answering. Don’t respond for a period of time. As a result his interest in you will only grow. And you will have more time to formulate a correct answer and determine what exactly he wants. In the case where you understand that he wants to resume the relationship, then you can answer him based on your desires and feelings.

I do not know why, but I want to write

Often when people want to write to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, they don’t know exactly why. You may be embarrassed that you miss the past if you know you don’t want the past relationship back.

If you feel that way, chances are that the ex isn’t necessarily “the one” at all that can’t be missed. You may not be nostalgic for the person, but for one or two qualities of their character that you particularly like.

To understand this point, remember what emotions and actions of your former soulmate you like.

This will help you discover the “values” that are really important to you in the relationship. For example, if you have always done fun things together or laughed a lot, but that is now absent from your life, then the “feeling of pleasure” may be a value that the ex brought to the table.

Feelings may also be important in a relationship:

  • Security;
  • adventure;
  • learning and personal growth;
  • Meaningful communication.

When you understand what is important to you, then you will begin to see that these emotions can be experienced with someone else.

Consequently, the desire to constantly write to an ex may not be a longing for the person, but rather a desire to rekindle some kind of experience that person may have brought you in the past. Knowing this will help you make wiser choices in the future.

Should You Respond to a Sudden Ex-Man Appearance?

If your ex-boyfriend texts you, try to find out the purpose of his visit. Men rarely do things “just for fun.” Behind the phrase “just to talk” may be a desire to renew the relationship.

If you do not intend to go to a reconciliation and resumption of relations, do not give the guy hope. At the very least, you risk being misunderstood and getting into a relationship again.

Finally, it is worth noting that there are positive aspects of such attention. If you split up recently, perhaps this is your chance to reconcile. Talk to a man, if you are ready to go further hand in hand, do not miss this opportunity.

If you liked this article, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. We publish many interesting and useful articles for you every day. Stay tuned .

Should You Respond to a Sudden Ex-Man Appearance?

If your ex-boyfriend texts you, try to find out the purpose of his visit. Men rarely do things “just for fun.” Behind the phrase “just to talk” may be a desire to renew the relationship.

If you do not intend to go to a reconciliation and resumption of relations, do not give the guy hope. At the very least, you risk being misunderstood and getting into a relationship again.

Finally, it is worth noting that there are positive aspects of such attention. If you split up recently, perhaps this is your chance to reconcile. Talk to a man, if you are ready to go further hand in hand, do not miss this opportunity.

If you liked this article, give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. We publish many interesting and useful articles for you every day. Stay tuned .

Rules of conduct with an ex-partner when meeting in person

There are situations when it is impossible to limit communication with an ex. This happens if your ex-husband or boyfriend is your colleague or neighbor or simply stalks you. What is the right thing to do in such cases?

Try not to react in any way, all his species show indifference. In a conversation be reserved, do not get angry, and certainly do not flirt with him.

Make it clear that you do not care about him, show it with all your appearance. Be polite in your communication. Do not let flirtatiousness or outbursts of rage in his direction.

You can also let your ex know that you are not free and have met your new love. Let him know that you have someone to stand up for you.

Try to prevent any physical contact, keep your distance from the person. In no case do not allow you to approach, touch or otherwise violate your personal space. If the man tries to hug you, then remove his arm from you and reprimand him, so he understands that you are not comfortable with this.

In no case, do not accept any gifts from the ex. So you will feel that you owe him and it will be hard for you to keep him at a distance.

In every way, stop attempts to invade your personal space. If the man gets too close, move away and take a closed pose. If you see a man trying to hug you, firmly remove his hand from you and reprimand him.

How might you feel after receiving messages from your ex?

The reaction to unexpected messages from an ex-girlfriend can be different. If we talk about the physical condition of the body, it is heart palpitations

Sweating hands, strange feelings in the abdomen and so on. All of these are symptoms of the familiar rush of excitement.

However, it can be caused by different feelings. For example, joy…

from the fact that your ex still remembers you and misses you, even though your relationship is over. That is, the effect of receiving messages from her can be comforting.

But sometimes a reminder of yourself from her side isn’t exactly pleasant.

. For example, in cases where you want to forget everything, and any attention from her painfully hurts your progress in “moving forward.

If you broke up on a maximally negative note after a toxic relationship, her message may cause you to feel annoyed

, panic and even fear . After all, all you want after a breakup in such a case is to distance yourself.

The second reason: to check things out.

If the breakup was initiated by a man, and especially if the breakup didn’t happen as such, but he just distanced himself, he still has the feeling of having the right to possess this woman for a long time. And then the man appears to make sure that her thoughts and feelings still belong to him.

Your emotional reaction will help him make sure of this. It does not matter whether it is positive or negative. If a woman loves and waits, she belongs to him. If a woman hates or suffers, she belongs to him. This is why an ex so often elicits an emotional reaction from us. Cold-blooded, benign indifference is the worst thing a man can discover. It’s how he realizes that the woman is no longer his.

Ex-texting after a breakup – we study thoroughly

Everyone had to go through a painful moment of separation. To cope with the feeling of inner emptiness hard for both. Man suffers sometimes even more. And soon returns. But what drives him? Feelings? The desire to regain lost comfort, the desire to be meaningful again? Let’s try to understand the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman after the breakup.

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1 A matter of habit

If you have been close for a long time, you have developed common rituals. You are used to share screenshots of funny memes, send pictures from the fitting room (not necessarily frivolous content, but with very practical purposes). Share your impressions of the next episode of the TV series that you’ve been hooked on for the fifth year in a row, finally. And now what to give up these “nice” habits? After a while the flow of messages is likely to dry up, especially if it finds a new recipient without any special spam filters.

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You have to agree, it’s not an easy situation.

Surely you know that the breakup of a relationship is not always accompanied by scandals and a complete cessation of any contact on the part of both partners. Sometimes couples break up in a sort of semi-passive way, when everything seems to be over, but no one holds a grudge against anyone, because everyone understands that “it just isn’t the way.

In such cases, even after a breakup, one of the partners can text the other in an instant messenger with a simple “How are you? or a slightly more complicated “What did you think of the final episode of Game of Thrones?” .

It happens and vice versa, when the breakup is very painful, so not to write to his ex, again, quite difficult.

We will tell you what may be the reasons for messages from the girl you broke up with, as well as how to respond to them.

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Why is your ex writing to you?

We can hardly give a concrete answer to the question, “Why did she suddenly text me?” However, we have several suggestions, one of which may be very close to the truth.

First of all, you need to understand how and under what circumstances your relationship ended. This will play a key role in figuring out the reasons for your ex’s activity.

For example, if the girl was the initiator of your breakup and now writes first, perhaps she is going through a breakup and misses you. In most cases, the reason may be precisely this unusual longing for a partner with whom the person used to spend a lot of time.

Sometimes the purpose of her messages may be the desire to remain friends , because it is a completely different format of relationship, which involves a different commitment to each other.

If your separation didn’t go according to the best of scenarios, your ex’s activity could signal that she’s sorry for what happened, feels guilty and wants to make things right.

However, if you have a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances, it is likely she just wants to reduce the degree of your dislike for each other so that the next time you meet at a mutual get-together you won’t feel uncomfortable. That’s not certain, of course, but it’s a possibility, too.

Another reason for her messages could be to check your interest in renewing the relationship. Whether she wants to get back together or not, she may be wondering what you think about it.

It’s worth noting that if you initiated the breakup, your ex might want to know why this happened and what she’ll do about it.

What’s more, her texting you could be due to some nostalgia or sentimentality from an old memory or maybe because she drank a few cocktails at a bar with her girlfriends.

In any of these cases, if you’re curious why she writes, it’s always better to ask directly. That way you can cut down on the long, confusing and stressful analysis of her feelings and find out all at once.

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2 Wants to stay friends

After all, if a close relationship has exhausted itself, but you haven’t stopped being close in spirit, it’s strange to take someone out of the address book just because you no longer live together. Maybe he thinks so. Moreover, even after the breakup, you may still have mutual friends and/or work colleagues.

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Why does the man remind about himself: the psychology of men

According to psychologists, a former beloved man or husband sometimes imposes his own persona for the following reasons.

  1. Wants to find out if the lady’s feelings have faded.

Wants to find out if you are pining for lost love. So he writes messages, congratulates you on the holidays. Guy does this to restore the shaken ego, to feel: beloved side by side. Or the partner still have feelings, the man wants to resume the relationship.

  1. Banal sexual frustration.

Why does the ex-boyfriend reminds you of himself? The answer psychologist is simple: one of the reasons – lack of sex. The desire to date only sometimes is often prosaic. Cavalier trivial lack of previous sexual activity. The strong sex quickly gets used to a certain “sexual rhythm”. If the husband, lover for several years in a row had sex at least a couple of times a week, it is difficult to rebuild. Banal sexual hunger will make you call, invite to a “reconciliatory” date.

Why do ex-boyfriends remind you of themselves? Psychology says: a man who “returns” just to satisfy libido, normal relationship to build very difficult. Act wisely. When ex-lover in the evenings pestering calls with the desire to come to satisfy the “base instinct”, keep a cool head. Yes, sex brings us closer, but this is a different case. So agree to meet only at lunchtime. Such a date excludes sex. This way you will quickly understand the man’s true intentions: whether he just wants to satisfy his sexual instinct, or truly wants to get back to you.

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3 Hopes to get you back

If the breakup happened on your initiative, and he’s still living with feelings for you, he’s probably going to still fight for that relationship. That’s why, by the way, family psychologists insist that a broken up couple needs to go through a “no-contact” period – a quarantine. Feel free to explain this to your ex. After all, if you are not Bregelina and you do not have six children together, such a virtual wall is quite possible to afford.

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How might you feel after receiving messages from your ex?

The reaction to unexpected messages from an ex-girlfriend can be different. If we talk about the physical condition of the body, you may feel palpitations, sweaty hands, strange feelings in the abdomen and so on. All of these are symptoms of the familiar rush of excitement.

However, it can be caused by different feelings. For example, the joy that your ex still remembers you and misses you, even though your relationship ended. That is, the effect of receiving messages from her can be comforting.

But sometimes a reminder of yourself from her side is not exactly pleasant. For example, in cases when you want to forget everything, and any attention from her side hurts your progress in “moving forward.

If you break up on a maximally negative note after a toxic relationship, her message may cause you to feel irritated, panic, and even fear. After all, all you want after a breakup in such a case is to distance yourself.

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4 Experiencing guilt.

If he initiated the breakup, his conscience may be gnawing at him (it happens, honestly). After all, if you’ve been close for a long time and the guy isn’t emotionally deprived (he’s not an emotionless chump), he cares about your worries and your mood.

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What to do: respond or ignore?

Let’s be clear right away: you have every right to ignore your ex’s messages if communicating with her could affect your mental well-being. This would be a perfectly normal reaction that you shouldn’t regret.

But what do you do if your relationship was happy and secure? Maybe you’re even thinking about getting back together with her and remember your separation as a ridiculous misunderstanding?

In this case, you can calmly respond to the message, forget about the needless stereotype of “to the exes do not come back.

However, if you understand that the reason for her message was not a resumption of your affair, do not jump in with offers to return “everything as it was.

Another option in such a case would be to simply offer her your friendship. History knows many situations when people remained friends after a long and happy relationship.

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5 He’s a manic possessive.

Suddenly he sees you on Facebook with a new guy of unearthly beauty in his arms. A red veil falls over his eyes and his hands reach for the keyboard. I mean, there are probably people who know how to be happy for their exes, but he’s clearly not one of them. He writes in the hope that some additional details will emerge. Suddenly, it turns out that the handsome man in the photo is your suddenly-found brother, lost as a child in the vast expanse of boundless India, or trivial – a fitness trainer. He hopes to “hear” how bad you feel without him and subconsciously afraid of the words, “Hi, I’m fine,” because for him it would mean, “Hi, I’m fine WITHOUT YOU.

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Thank you for reading this article to the end

Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in relationship psychology and during my years of practice I have helped over 10,000 girls to meet their mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families who were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of my students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Free Online Course
“Man: an honest instruction manual.”

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6 He wants to show off

He certainly liked to “fluff his tail” during the years of your relationship. So who better than you to brag to him about his new Porsche? Don’t be surprised if the next “tranche” you get is a photoshopped photo of his abs and even a photo of his new girlfriend, for example. He likes to play on his feelings, and doesn’t care if it might hurt. That’s one case where a guy can and should be sent to the eternal ban. Adios, amigo, goodbye!

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7 He’s got a memory.

It is a property of our memory to retain mostly pleasant events. At the same time ugly and even terrible moments of the relationship fade over time. That is, in fact, it is not writing to you a real, but the image that was imprinted in his memory. And all sorts of social networks are so fond of reminding how happy you were 1-2-3 years ago. And a sudden nostalgia comes over you: “Do you remember… then… in Mallorca?”

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8 He is a retrograde.

There are some people for whom building a new relationship is worse than an atomic war. Here, in this territory, everything is checked out and familiar. There, it’s “scary and wolfish.” Such people even after a breakup want to return everything back. Not without reason, psychologists say that attachment is one of the basic needs of the human being. After all, it adds stability in this fickle world.

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9 He’s done with another relationship

And now he wants to dump a bucket of sewage on you. He will start, I think, with cheap manipulations. Putting you on a pedestal and presenting you with a certificate of “The Best of ECS”. Don’t get too excited, because when he broke up with you, his previous iteration (crossed out) of the girl had the baton.

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10 He’s drunk.

Hasn’t that ever happened to you? It seems that with the increase in the alcoholic degree in the blood on his smartphone a new button: “write to your ex-boyfriends” and blinks invitingly. So if most of his messages consist of typos mixed up with emoji, he’s drunk, stoned, drunk out of his mind – underline that.

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