Domestic tyrant what to do – learn all the nuances

Who is a domestic tyrant and how to recognize him?

When you think about tyranny, the first thing you imagine is physical violence from someone. However, tyranny can also manifest itself without physical violence. If one person puts a lot of moral pressure on another person, that is tyranny.

Some women don’t understand this. They live with a dictatorial husband and suffer. However, this kind of thing should not be tolerated. Despotism should be fought by all available means and even more so do not tolerate it. The following information will help you understand such a delicate issue.

Signs

A domestic tyrant is a person who craves power. Women acting as a despot is not so common. But about the male despots many have heard. Society treats such men negatively, because they behave inadequately. Individuals with immoral tendencies like to make fun of people. If a dictator notices that his wife, son or daughter are out of his control, he begins to behave aggressively: he insults his relatives, demands to do his will and even threatens to use force. This same man also has another side to him. He can show softness if he gets what he wanted.

Psychologists divide tyrannical behavior into two variants.

  • The first variant of behavior refers to men who have failed to make a career. Thus such subjects at home try on the “role of the head”. For example: the husband uses violence towards the in-laws, and especially towards his wife. At the same time, he demands that all family members remain silent in response to his aggression.
  • To recognize the second variant of behavior is simple. Tyrant men have childhood complexes. For example, if such a man’s mother has always dominated the family and punished all the household members for transgressions, then he may adopt her behavior.

Thus the man takes a dominant position, so that he will not be offended. He tries to strike a warning blow to potential abusers. The potential offenders in this case are his wife and children.

Now let us consider the traits that a husband and father of a family where despotism is present may have.

  • In such a unit of society, the wife and children are very dependent on the head of the family, both financially and emotionally.
  • The tyrant husband is a misogynist. He criticizes his wife all the time.
  • All of the wife’s relatives and friends are harshly criticized by the tyrant husband.
  • The husband forbids the woman to communicate with other people. He also forbids her to communicate with her girlfriends. This position is beneficial to the tyrant husband because he is afraid that someone will teach his wife to fight back.
  • The husband openly mocks his wife. He speaks unflattering words to her face. At the same time, he justifies his behavior by saying that he really doesn’t wish his wife anything bad and isn’t trying to insult her. He is simply teaching her how to live her life and take criticism correctly.
  • The tyrant husband is difficult to please: no matter what his wife says or does, it will all be wrong.
  • The husband often engages in moralizing. He teaches his wife how to behave in society and how to act correctly in this or that situation. In this way he asserts himself at the poor woman’s expense and shows her how clever he is.
  • When a man is a despot, a woman always feels guilty. It does not matter how events unfold in this or that story. The tyrant husband will always find a reason to accuse the woman that everything happened because of her fault.
  • The husband-tyrant is not shy in expressing himself to his wife.
  • Mistakes that occurred through the fault of the husband, always shifted to his wife.
  • The male tyrant assures his wife that no one needs her but him. He adds that he has to put up with her out of pity.
  • At any time the male bully can “take out his anger” on his woman.
  • Very often the husband resorts to physical violence. He is not troubled by his conscience, because he sincerely believes that the woman “brought this on herself.
  • The husband sincerely believes that his interests are above the interests of his wife, as he is the head of the family.
  • The despot husband is very jealous. He always finds reasons to make a scandal.
  • If the woman expresses her discontent, the dictator husband abruptly cuts her off in half a word.
  • If the wife is successful in society, the husband tyrant will do everything he can to bring her down.
  • The male tyrant never takes responsibility for himself. He shifts the responsibility to the woman all the time. If something doesn’t go according to plan, the dictator blames the woman for making the wrong decision.
  • The woman is stressed all the time because she is afraid of her husband’s negative reaction to this or that event.
  • In the family of the despot husband, all money is under strict control. The wife should clearly account for every penny spent.

The male despot with all his behavior and appearance shows the household that he is the master of the house.

The psychology of the tyrant

Psychology accurately states that the desire for absolute power over anyone is a neurosis. And this is correct, because the desire to suppress the will of someone or to force subordination is an inadequate human reaction to the relationship between people. The fact is that a tyrant usually cannot even admit to himself that he is a tyrant. Such a subject masks his intentions under patriarchal traditions. He believes that the woman in the home is of secondary importance, and nothing depends on her opinion.

At the same time, when the despot appears at work and faces his superiors, he becomes a completely different person. Strong people cause the despot both irritation and admiration. Therefore, he begins to ingratiate himself in front of them. The explanation for such behavior is simple: tyranny is inherent in neurotics. Neurotics are good at sensing the mood of people. Thus this subject bypasses the strong person, and he chooses the weak person as a victim. By bullying the victim he compensates for his personal weakness and insecurity.

There is another reason why the neurotic behaves inadequately. The dictator is a very soft person; he is weak both morally and physically. He feels contempt for himself for this weakness. By and large the neurotic despises himself.

At the same time he is very much afraid of being exposed. If someone sees his true face, his world will be destroyed.

At heart, the neurotic individual convinces himself that he is a proud, brave and strong person. In fact, he realizes that this is far from being the case. The consciousness of the despot is between two facets. For this reason, his ego is highly sensitive.

The subject with neurotic tendencies does not tolerate doubts about his rightness. Therefore, he does not understand jokes directed in his direction. The neurotic sincerely believes that no one should question his professional skills. Therefore, he reacts violently if his opinion is not taken into account. Not only that, the neurotic is very cunning. He uses the people around him to assert himself.

The dictator has another name: abuser. An abuser is an individual who gets satisfaction from the pain of the victim. People with this type of personality tend to influence not only people, but also events around them. Therefore, these are the types of personalities who may become fascinated with esotericism. Despotism pushes these subjects to the idea that in this way they can rule the world.

Further, it should be noted that the dictator has an unstable psyche. Therefore, his actions are often characterized by illogic. For example, you or anyone else can easily win the favor of a neurotic with the help of flattery. For the same reason, the tyrant husband builds his relationships with his wife and children, which are based on fear, and he uses threats for unconditional obedience. Therefore, the victims are afraid of angering the tyrant and falling into his disfavor. They do everything to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Manipulation is another method that helps to subdue the victim. Having learned the weaknesses of the person, the tyrant begins to put pressure on him. It should be noted that dictators have many levers of control. For example, the tyrant can easily make the victim feel guilty. How does he do this? He gradually convinces the person that he is to blame. By imposing guilt, the tyrant consequently imposes his will.

In addition, the despot often uses animals for his purposes. As soon as a pet comes into the house, the torturer begins to train it. Again, if the tyrant imposes his will on a person, he tries to restrain his destructive impulses for fear of responsibility. This is not the case with animals. In this case, the autocrat can go too far, as he will feel his impunity. Continuing the topic, it should be noted: with their loved ones and with people who cannot fight back, the tyrant behaves inadequately. He uses a method called “carrot and stick”. If all his demands are met unconditionally, the tyrant encourages people. If he is dissatisfied, then the punishment of the victims is inevitable.

One must understand that it is impossible to live next to tyrants. One must necessarily fight such a phenomenon. The neurotic seeks power. Both he himself and those around him must understand that this is how the disease manifests itself.

This illness will not go away by itself. This is why either the person himself must understand that he is sick and seek help, or his relatives must make sure that this person somehow gets to see a specialist. Otherwise, everything can end very badly.

What to do and how to behave?

It is necessary to understand that it is very dangerous to live with a tyrant. Of course, you can try to cure him, but this method will not suit everyone. You need to fight when you are sure of the result. If you are not sure that things can still change for the better, it is better for you to leave your tyrant husband. Such a way will help you get rid of many problems and keep your mental stability.

Think about it: do you love your man or are you just afraid? In psychology there is such a concept as “attachment. Attachment” is very different from love. When a man loves, he treats his partner with respect. When there is attachment between partners, such partners fight all the time. They live by this principle: “Together is tight and apart is nauseating.” If you are constantly experiencing negative emotions, perhaps this proverb accurately describes your relationship with your man. In this case, you need to draw a line and break up.

If a woman is living with a tyrant husband, she probably has her reasons. There may be several of them:

  • no place to go;
  • no near and dear people;
  • the woman is financially dependent;
  • the woman is living with past memories;
  • a woman consciously accepts the role of a victim.

If you do not leave your husband for one of the above reasons, then you need to choose the way you will behave. There are only two: completely submit to her husband or put up a fight and fight back. If you choose submission, then be prepared for your psyche to fail at some point. You can’t endure humiliation your whole life.

If you choose the second way (fighting for your independence), you are taking a big risk. The tyrant husband probably won’t be able to put up with the fact that you will start giving him back. He will fight back. And there’s no telling how far he might go.

In order for you to look at the situation more closely, you need to read the points below. Then you yourself (not someone else) will make the final decision.

Domestic tyrant what to do – learn all the nuances

Men no longer rule the world. And marriages in which partners are equal and have the same rights are formed more and more often. However, still there are families where the dominant tyrant husband, oppressing his wife and not giving her an opportunity to realize themselves. The life of such a woman is doomed to failure. Why this happens and how to overcome your own helplessness, you will learn from this article.

The husband does not want to work

A typical case when the husband does not want to work “We have been married for seven years, we are raising our daughters-children,” says thirty-two-year-old E. “Before I went on maternity leave with our first child, we both worked, but on maternity leave money became scarce, I constantly took part-time jobs (I am an accountant), and my husband had a “million-dollar idea”: he decided to quit his …

How to get rid of the family routine? Or How do I get rid of the routine in my marital relationship?

Every married couple, after living together for a certain period of time, begins to face the problem of routine in the relationship. Many books have been written on this subject, developed recommendations for couples going through a crisis in the relationship. But in this article I would like to look at the problems of family routine from the perspective of emotional burnout syndrome, that is to compare the features of the emotional state in the case of …

How to live with a tyrant

If the husband is a despot, then there are only two options in which you can continue to exist with him:

  • Accept the rules of the game, obey him in everything and live that way.
  • Defend themselves and reclaim their status in the family.

Many people prefer the first option. Women by nature are usually malleable, and some of them are brought up so that all obey a representative of the stronger sex. But even the meekest girl sooner or later tired of the endless nagging. So the easiest thing to do is to leave your tyrant husband.

The second option is also difficult to implement. In order to win back her rights in such a relationship, she will have to try very hard. But even if a woman succeeds, the marriage risks ending in divorce.

Tyrants are not interested in strong women.

If we talk about the opinion of experts, they offer several recommendations to help you survive with a tyrant:

  • It is worth to visit a psychologist, together with the husband or alone. The specialist will consider the individual situation and help make a plan of action that will help improve the situation a little bit.
  • Prevent domestic violence in the very first stages. It is necessary to understand that by their nature tyrants are monstrously cowardly and complex. There is a good chance that if you threaten your abusive husband with the police or a divorce lawyer he will stop.
  • Tyrants always do everything out of turn and like to contradict those around them. It is advisable to take advantage of this. At first, it is worth not asking permission to meet with the girlfriend, after which you can tell the husband that the wife has already refused to go shopping with the acquaintance herself. There is a good chance that the despot will start to work backwards and will insist that his spouse still went to the meeting.
  • If you constantly take the position of the victim, you can lose yourself over time, so experts do not recommend always obediently bowing your head.
  • If the spouse is complaining that his wife poorly performs their household chores, it is worth to stop doing anything at home.

Psychologists recommend that women who live with tyrants, learn to love themselves, begin to look after themselves, dress nicely, attend courses or find an interesting hobby. If your husband forbids you to work in an office, it’s worth finding a part-time job at home and saving money.

Do not be afraid to tell your family and friends about this situation. The more they will know, the sooner and more effectively they will be able to help.

What you should not do

The above tips of psychologists are only suitable if the guy humiliates and bullies the girl only morally. If he is openly threatening the girlfriend and abusing her, then you need to act more cautiously. To fight such a despot is the most difficult and in most cases dangerous.

Therefore, in this case it is not necessary:

  • Refuse to do housework.
  • Give reasons for jealousy.
  • Threaten the spouse with divorce or that the wife intends to get rid of him with the help of the police.
  • Making fun of the despot’s appearance and personality.

A more subtle psychological approach is needed in such a situation. To leave such a man for good, it is worth seeking help from a specialist. It may be necessary to look for a home, the location of which the husband will not know, in order to hide there after the divorce.

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Conclusion

Many people believe that a man can be changed. In the case of a tyrant, you can only count on a temporary effect, as it is impossible to re-educate such a man. You should not sacrifice your life for the sake of not being alone. Even if the tyrant does not let go, you can always leave him and start from scratch.

You need to remember that every woman is a person. The most important recommendation is to develop yourself and learn to be a stronger spirit to be self-sufficient.

What are the 12 secret words – which can quickly fall in love with a man?

What is the secret of these words? Hit the button and watch the video to the end.

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I want to cheat on my husband. What to do?

Table of contents What provokes thoughts of adultery Dissatisfaction in family life What to do? The desire for revenge What to do? The desire to finish the relations What to do? Feelings for another person What to do? Conclusions Going into a relationship, hardly any of us allow the thought of cheating. The word “treason” has a clearly negative meaning: treason to the Motherland, treason to your beloved, treason to your own…

If all is useless

If the situation is not improving, domestic aggression, family quarrels, scandals and violence continue – get ready to part with the tyrant and leave without a backward glance!

Start a new life, no matter how scary, and no matter how difficult or even impossible it may seem to you.

If you feel that for the first step you lack strength and courage, visit a psychologist, he will support you and help you set up for decisive action, to develop their most optimal algorithm.

If internally not ready to leave the tyrant, more often motivate yourself with the thought that if your children will always see how their father insults and humiliates their mother, they are unlikely to grow up psychologically healthy.

They will be guaranteed relationship problems. As a rule, girls develop a fear of men, and boys often copy the tyrannical nature of their father and often use violence against women themselves in the future.

So, if you don’t respect and feel pity for yourself, at least feel pity for them.

Do not make the decision to run away on emotions, calm down, think everything over, and prepare well.

First of all, collect money, documents and necessary things.

It is good if you have a place where you can find shelter, and if your pursuer will not know about it.

Naturally, it is better to leave when he is not at home, otherwise an explosion of aggression and unnecessary showdown cannot be avoided.

In case there is no way to leave the tyrant, and the violence becomes unbearable, and even more so if it threatens your life and health, feel free to call the police.

And lastly, do not tolerate domestic tyranny and psychological violence in the family. Such patience has never brought anyone happiness. You’ll become stiff, get used to it, and then you’ll

regret not having lived your life to the fullest.

Change, and changes will open the door to happiness, and you will see a “new heaven and a new earth.

That will be all. Take care!

See you in the next publication.

© Sincerely, Denis Kryukov

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My husband does not want a child – how to understand the reason

The highest mission of a woman – to give a new life. The meaning of life is its continuation. These are the truths that have been pursued for many generations. Woman-Mother is glorified by religion, philosophy, art. Recently, the child free movement has been gaining popularity in developed countries. Young and mature people consciously give up their right to be parents, devoting their lives to the realization of other values. It’s their choice, …

What to do to keep the family if your husband is a tyrant

In a situation where your husband is a despot and a tyrant, you have only two choices:

  • Tolerate his attacks and become dependent;
  • Force him to reckon with you.

Women often agree to the first option, because many of them are brought up to be patient and compliant. However, timid ladies can also resent their husband’s attitude, his insults and physical abuse. That’s when you have to leave.

Getting your tyrant husband to respect you is almost unrealistic. For this it is necessary to make colossal efforts. But all this can eventually lead to separation.

If next to you husband tyrant, how to live? There are a few tips:

    Go to a specialist, whether you are alone or with your spouse. Professional psychologist will tell you what to do in your case. Will give recommendations.

If your husband has signs of a tyrant, the advice of a psychologist will help you behave properly. Look after your appearance, try all the time to look good, find an interesting hobby for you, take a course. If your man does not allow you to fully go to work, moonlight at home. And save money.

These recommendations work if your husband – a psychological tyrant and insults you only in words. When in the course of physical humiliation and real threats are received, you have to act differently. Otherwise, you may run into serious trouble from a man.

Tyrant husband – advice from psychologists

The first question that a woman who lives with her husband a psychological tyrant should answer is whether it makes sense to continue this marriage in principle? Here there can be no single answer, it should be decided by each woman for herself.

There is no need to judge women for continuing a relationship with a tyrant. Usually they just can’t do otherwise. What could be the reason for this behavior of female victims?

Often tyrant husbands initially take women with low self-esteem as wives to obey them and indulge their whims. Another popular reason for maintaining a marriage is financial dependence on her husband, due to small children, lack of work, health, etc. There are, of course, purely psychological reasons. For example, a woman may miss the times of the romantic beginning of the relationship with her husband (and tyrants are very skilled at dusting their eyes at the first stages of dating). Or it could be guilt for the fact that it was because of the woman that the man became this way (this feeling could very well be generated by the tyrant himself). Someone, for example, is simply afraid of being left alone and enduring the tyranny. After all, there are also women who like the psychology of the tyrant-victim relationship.

If a woman, for any of the above reasons, seeks to preserve the relationship, the following question arises. What to do if the husband is a tyrant? There are several pieces of advice from psychologists on this question:

  • There is no point in trying to remake a despot husband. It is useless, because despotism is already a serious part of his inner self.
  • The most important thing – in no case should you let it pass you by and ignore the slightest manifestation of disrespect in his address. A woman should not allow violence to himself. She should always remember that she is an individual with her own beliefs, which her husband should reckon with. It is important to realize that the opinion of the oppressive husband is only his own opinion and not the final truth. The woman also has the right to speak out and be heard. Timid girls will have to learn to give a strong response to any manifestation of violence to preserve himself and his pride. If verbal persuasion does not work, you can slap in the face. The husband must see that the wife can stand up for themselves and their beliefs. Perhaps the man will reconsider his attitude.
  • A tyrant husband may try to forbid communication with relatives and friends. A woman should not go along with this whim. Close people should always be present in life, if there is such a desire. Relatives will support and help. If cases of domestic violence continue, eventually you can hide at your relatives and come to your senses.
  • There are plenty of centers to help women suffering from domestic violence. Living with a tyrant husband, it is vital to know the location of the nearest one, as well as to have in your phone book the number of the helpline, social services.

Do not forget that women are the weaker sex, and negative emotions leave a huge imprint on her. So do not turn down the opportunity to seek help from a specialist psychologist, for example, to Nikita Baturin Valerievich.

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The psychology of the relationship with her husband after the birth of a child

The birth of a child for any family is not only a joy and a long-awaited event, but also a serious change for the entire family system. These changes are especially true for mothers. Having previously been socially active, women are faced with new responsibilities, a new role: work, study, career, communication goes into the background. Many young mothers note that their entire lives begin to revolve …

How to get rid of a tyrant husband?

If after all, life with a tyrant has become impossible for a woman, then the only thing left is to tear up the relationship and divorce. For any woman it is very difficult, you need to act in stages, prepare yourself for this and think correctly.

First of all, you need to love yourself. After this it will become clear that it makes no sense to spend your life with a man who does not love you, does not respect you, and even dangerous to life and health. The wife must realize that she is just an object for her husband, on which he throws his negativity, insecurity, through which he is trying to assert himself, etc.

You need to take steps of a practical nature. If necessary, think about the future housing, the source of finances, etc. Along the way it is desirable to consult a psychologist who will help you through a difficult period in life.

Then you should restore your communication with your relatives and friends, who will definitely support this period.

The most difficult thing is to announce your desire to break up. If the husband of the tyrant does not come to blows, you can try to do it directly. If he beats the victim, it is better to pack your bags and leave while he is not at home. In doing so, it is important to become legally savvy, a divorce with such a man is not an easy matter.

It is important to understand that the likelihood that the tyrant, who has entered into a taste, will correct himself is almost zero. Therefore, it is not necessary to listen to his entreaties, the woman must act firmly according to her plan.

The victim of such a relationship can not worry that her ex-husband will pursue her. Typically, tyrants are cowardly and do not want publicity for their behavior. If fear is still present, it is possible to leave for another locality and start a new life there. It will be better than staying and living a life of humiliation and beatings. Children shouldn’t be the reason for maintaining a damaged relationship, either. Even if only because it is harmful to the children themselves and their psyche.

Tyranny and domestic violence is a tragedy. A woman should not be afraid to report such cases openly, including to law enforcement agencies or special social services and help centers. It should be understood that any violence is a crime and the man must be punished.

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Do you want a decent man? Then remember this phrase: “you are a smart man.”

Every man thinks he’s smart. But many girls think that if you give such compliments to men, he will relax, he will sit on his neck. Just give it a try. You can try it in any situation. A man talks a lot. What does he want to hear? He wants to hear how smart he is. Mom didn’t tell him.

How did most moms raise their sons? “You’re bad, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it bad.” And she thinks I’m going to criticize him now, and he’s going to get better. And you look at your mother too, you grow up and you think you have to criticize your husband, the man on the date, and then he’ll have the urge to get better.

Want to know what a man needs to make you happy? Enroll in a free online course Man: An honest guide

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