How to cope with depression after a relationship breakup
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Breaking up a relationship can be very painful. You’ve shared your whole life with a person, and now you’re automatically going to answer their phone call, but suddenly you remember that you shouldn’t answer it. The depression that comes after a relationship breakup can be so severe and difficult that no one else can possibly understand how you feel. But there are ways to deal with this feeling that don’t involve crying into your pillow. Here’s a WikiHow guide on how to deal with depression after a relationship breakup.
Know that it will take some time. Especially if the relationship was long-term, it will be a difficult and likely long process. Be prepared for this, and give yourself as much time as you need to regain your composure.
- Cry if necessary. Cry into your pillow and feel miserable for a while. It’s okay to do that. You have a right to do that. But at the end of the day, you have to let it all go and move on with your life. Life goes on, and believe it or not, so do you!
Take away anything that is too hard to see right now. Take everything that reminds you of your former partner (pictures, letters, mementos) and put it all in a box. Then put the box away somewhere far away, like the closet. Don’t throw it away – you may regret it later. Just keep it in a safe place, but don’t re-read or review it all to make yourself miserable. Just put it aside and take a break.
Try to lead a normal life as much as you can. It will be hard at first, but you may have to force yourself to eat regular meals and sleep regularly. This will also take time, so be patient with yourself.
Try to put it out of your mind. Go outside and do something you enjoy, such as taking up a hobby you’ve always loved, whether it’s riding a bike, karate, painting, playing the guitar, etc. Make sure you focus on the activity and the joy it brings you, thereby distracting yourself.
- Make sure your friends know what happened and ask them to be your support group to help you through this difficult time.
Deal with the end of the relationship. Remember that relationships don’t happen for no reason, and nothing happens for nothing in life. You may have learned a valuable lesson that you can apply to your future relationships and possible marriage. Or perhaps you have been separated for a while and the relationship will resume soon. Either way, you must move on with your life.
Depression after a breakup
Depression after a breakup is familiar to many people, which catches up with them after a strong emotional attachment to a person. This condition is exacerbated by sadness, apathy, inner discomfort, and is provoked by the sudden breakup of a relationship. Depression after a breakup is a kind of suffering of the soul for a person who has irrevocably left, for which originated a deep sense of love.
Many people wonder: how long does depression after a breakup? The release from psychological dependence is individual for each person and everything depends on his desire, emotional state, type of nervous system, willpower.
How to overcome depression after a breakup? It is important to realize what caused this state, as well as to understand yourself. One of the basic human needs is the need to be loved, because the soul needs love. As soon as what happens is that you are no longer loved or you break up with your loved one (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend), the mind takes this reality very hard. This is the reason for an uncomfortable existence and depression after a breakup. The heart after a breakup is very difficult to readjust and accept the reality, as the brain is absorbed by pleasant memories of love. In the moments of separation, depression seems unbearable and burdensome.
How do you get over depression after a breakup?
Try to understand some of the components that are involved in the construction of love, and then it will become clear what to do with this feeling and its consequences. Psychologists distinguish these stages of emotional attachment: the emergence of attraction, falling in love, attachment. The main participants in the drama are dopamine, serotonin and endorphins. The most vicious participant in romantic relationships is dopamine.
Romantic love can’t last forever. Such love ends for biochemical reasons. The very action of the biologically active substances that determine the emotional attitude fades over time, for this reason the attraction decreases as well. Those people who are addicted to dopamine love become disillusioned after three years, and their love dies. That doesn’t mean you’re bad if you’re broken up with. It’s just that your chosen one has stopped enjoying being with you. The statistics of divorce in the first years of life of newlyweds is proof of that.
How to overcome depression after a breakup?
It is very important for a person experiencing depression to free himself from love addiction (addiction). Often when love passes, or after a breakup with a loved one, a person regrets not for the partner, but for the feelings he gave him. Therefore, the person does not feel sorry for the loved one, but shows pity for himself that he was left without his love. Love is a selfish thing. A person always wants love and as much as possible, and when there is no love, it is very difficult for an addicted partner to get rid of and come to terms with the reality that is happening.
Overcoming depression after a breakup will help to understand the biochemical mechanism that occurs after a breakup. In a person who is emotionally attached, the energy bond increases, as he is not ready for this outcome of the relationship and dependence on the loved one greatly increases, exhausting the love withdrawal.
Studies conducted on people who have experienced a breakup in a relationship indicate that breakup is often a severe psycho-emotional shock, leading to frustration, psychological discomfort, feelings of humiliation, and loss of self-worth.
Depression after a breakup undermines core beliefs about love, commitment, and family. Emotions, feelings, worldviews, belief systems, and beliefs are hurt as well.
The results of studies of people experiencing depression after a breakup have data on the prevalence of two main components – the victim complex and the aggression complex. The aggression complex includes emotions such as bitterness, bitterness, irritation, desire for retaliation and revenge, and autoaggression.
The victim complex includes such states as apathy, resentment, helplessness, humiliation, sadness, decreased vitality, and painful memories. Women’s expression of victimhood is much higher than that of men. The person feels helpless, unable to overcome the consequences of what happened. He often blames himself for the breakup and his inability to anticipate the development of such events in time. The complex of aggression is associated with a feeling of injustice, with a form of autoaggression, as well as self-accusation. Among other manifestations of depression, there is emotional torpor or global inhibition of feelings, a sense of hopelessness, suicidal tendencies and psychosomatic symptoms. Difficulties in the performance of household routine or work duties arise.
Depression after a breakup contributes to a sad, anxious, depressed state, as well as painful memories.
Depression after a breakup with one partner affects the next relationship. People who have experienced the trauma of a relationship do not enter into a permanent new relationship until at least five years later. The reason for such a long break is an indifferent attitude or internal passivity before a new relationship. Often the person continues to suffer from loneliness, but does not make any attempts to get acquainted again, because internally he is not yet ready. Often men do not initiate a new relationship.
How to relieve depression after a breakup? In such a situation, a psychologist will help, who will remove mistrust, bitterness, bitterness, fatalistic views, cynicism, reproaches about themselves. In most cases, people refuse to acknowledge their unwanted or negative emotions, regarding revenge, anger, humiliation, because it contradicts their moral beliefs. In these cases, the work on the acceptance and identification of their negative emotions can be quite difficult.
The competent approach of the psychologist, as well as the desire of the person himself to overcome depression after a breakup is of great importance in the success of treatment.
Take advantage of these tips from psychologists: socialize with friends, do sports, take more walks, be in nature, travel, meet new people, devote yourself to work, make home repairs; enrich your diet with products that contain serotonin (fish, nuts, eggs, honey, chocolate, raisins, fruits, seafood, vegetables), lead a cultural life (theaters, exhibitions, museums, film festivals), change your image and closet, forget about solitude, Don’t allow yourself loneliness, master self-massage, art therapy, take an active part in the holidays, read more positive literature, avoid sad people, mentally let the situation go and start to build a new life.
Author : Practical psychologist Vedmesh N.A.
Speaker of the Medical-Psychological Center PsychoMed