Candy and bouquet period psychology – clarify the question

The candy and bouquet period in a relationship

“In reality all families are united only by their children”; surely men and girls have heard the famous phrase “Love lives in three years”; or “Love only exists when there is passion” – all these phrases and a lot more similar ones about the fact that they have nothing in common with true love: from friends disappointed in love affairs, from television screens where numerous shows with slogans like “Build Your Love” so distort the understanding of this feeling that it makes your hair stand on end.

Gaby Baldiskaite , Unsplash

The stages of love’s evolution

It is generally accepted that the evolution of love includes 7 stages, each of which has its own characteristics and approximate time frame. However, they do not limit in any way how long it really takes a couple to go through these stages, because in any relationship everything is individual, there are no absolutely similar couples. So don’t be surprised that your friends go through the stages slowly, while yours flew by quite quickly. It can even happen that the couple will return to the original stage – this is called “cyclicality. You have to understand that every relationship develops in its own way, and the speed of their development depends on many factors: the nature, the degree of affection, or even from the circumstances of life that you can not influence. The main subject of the article will be a characteristic of the confetti-bouquet period, but briefly touch upon all the next steps in the development of love in a relationship.

1. Falling in love .

This stage occupies the main focus of the article, because it is called the candy-boquet period, the most romantic period in the life of a couple. It is characterized by a strong feeling of falling in love and euphoria from it. It is often joked in Russia that it is the only legal drug, so strong is its influence. In the male and female bodies, seized by a strong feeling, a real chemistry takes place at this stage of the development of the relationship.

Nick Huizinga , Unsplash

2. Satiety

This is a natural phase after you have become saturated with feelings, which over time become boring and cause a calmer effect. You can compare it to taking off your “rose-colored” glasses: you regain your rationality of thought, which allows you to look soberly both at your partner’s strengths and weaknesses.

3: Disgust

It would seem that how can you feel disgust for someone who previously aroused the most pleasant feelings? But this stage is as inevitable for the further development of the relationship as all the others. The emphasis is put on the intentional search for the partner’s shortcomings, his flaws are seen so disgusting that there are thoughts: “How could I ever date her (-s)?”, “What did I find in her (-s)?”. In the relationship begins to pick on the little things, everything in the loved person begins to irritate, from this there are quarrels, disagreements and the only way out is to see the end of the relationship. Don’t rush to cut the ends – the next stage is coming.

4. Humility

Not all couples will move to this stage of development, many will drop everything and have to start with a candy-coated period with another partner. The humility stage brings long-awaited peace. The man and woman begin to realize that they both have their minuses as well as their pluses, and most importantly, that this is normal! They come to terms with that fact.

Mohammad Faruque , Unsplash

5. Respect

At this stage, egoism shifts into the background: one wants to do not for himself, but for her (him). Genuine care for the other appears, support not for the sake of mutual help, but for nothing.

This step is very important. After a thorny path, you become much closer, you are not afraid to trust and open up.

7. Love .

And here comes the long-awaited last stage of relationship development – love. Not everyone understands how difficult it is to love: to give in somewhere, and in some issues, on the contrary, to show firmness, sincerely care, take responsibility for each other’s feelings, support and be sincere.

It is these 7 steps that all couples go through, the favorite of which is considered to be the candy-boquet. Let’s figure out what’s so great about it.

Aiony Haust , Unsplash

The name of this stage speaks for itself: the conquest of a woman’s heart begins with courting, where the main place is occupied by candy and flowers. The girl, in turn, presents the man with her attention, disposition and upcoming opportunities. Let’s figure out what it is, this favorite period for everyone.

Sugary-sweet, tender, fairy-tale, causing an endless stream of romantic feelings and some isolated: there is room only for lovers in the world.

Men at this stage are in euphoria: they literally lose their head from the girl, all thoughts are only about her, hormones are raging and cause endless desire. Many representatives of the stronger sex involuntarily, and sometimes on purpose, do not show all of themselves, but show only their good sides. Although even if many of them wouldn’t hide it, the girls in love would hardly stop their attention, because the sense of euphoria overcomes rationality. Everything in the partner seems perfect, and even the imperfections seem to be virtues. For example, the man shows rudeness, and the girl perceives it as brutality. In short, the brain is clouded with feelings.

Girls in this period have the same moods: they are “up to their ears” in love, they see everything in rosy colors, constantly hover in the clouds and experience real bliss. For every member of the fair sex, the candy-boquetal phase is an opportunity to feel beautiful, loved and desired. Men’s attention gives them pleasure and adds to their self-confidence.

Caique Silva , Unsplash

Mistakes you can make during the candy-boquetal phase

1. Take the time to fully reveal your soul and secret experiences

In the first phase of development of a relationship picture is not visible holistically, so do not open up what is important to you, because the trust can easily take advantage of and turn everything not in the best direction for you.

2. Do not rush into intimacy.

The development of a competent relationship is gradual: you won’t achieve anything good by jumping stages.

This stage is perceived by many couples as the truest, strongest, indestructible love until the grave. This is a misunderstanding, because as soon as the next stage arrives – satiety, the lovers will think that the passion has faded, the feelings have dulled, so it’s time to break up.

Daria Mamont , Unsplash

4. Don’t make fateful decisions

It’s no coincidence that the seven stages of the evolution of love are given: understand that there is a time for every decision, and the first stage is definitely not for taking serious questions. Once the euphoria wears off and the effect of intoxicating infatuation wears off, everything will fall into place. So getting married immediately is not a good idea.

Three rules to help prolong the candy-boquet.

Flowers, walks, spontaneous trips with your beloved. All these are necessary attributes of the confetti-boquet period. How one would like such a beautiful time to last forever, right? But in almost every couple passions subside, and from the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” is not a trace. Is it possible to maintain a state of euphoria, or satiety feelings – a completely normal phenomenon?

Stages of the sweet and bouquet period

Psychologists compare the beginning of this period with intoxication. In love it seems that they can not live without each other for a day. Hormones are raging, the world is seen in bright colors, there is strength for many achievements. And you think that just met a soul mate. How do such emotions arise?

  1. The first stage. It is also called “blind love. Partners are crazy about each other. They are ready to make a date every day. And it doesn’t matter where they meet: in the park or at the station. Lovers just want to enjoy themselves and sink even more into euphoria.
  2. The second stage. At this stage of the confetti-bouquet period in the relationship, the girl does not care whether her beloved will call first or not. She herself perfectly copes with the role of the initiator. All stereotypes recede into the background. Lady sees nothing shameful in chatting on the phone with her beloved. But here the main thing is not to go overboard. After all, too intrusive can repel the suitor.
  3. The third stage. The duration of this stage of the confetti-bouquet period is longer than the others. Partners slowly let each other into their lives, introduce them to friends and relatives. Many people lose their rose-colored glasses. You are learning more about the environment of your loved one. Someone you like, someone not so much. Naturally, you look differently at his beloved.

How to understand that the confetti-bouquet period has passed

You feel it yourself. For example, you are more relaxed will endure a day without your loved one. Or begin to quietly do their business without the participation in them chosen one. Frederic Beigbeder, author of “Love Lives Three Years,” argued that you can enjoy a romantic relationship for three years. And then the routine.

But you understand that this is not an axiom. In fact, it is difficult to predict when the candy-boquetal period will end. However, there are universal signs that the passions gradually subsided.

  1. Domestic disagreements. As soon as the hormonal background returns to normal, you suddenly notice that the partner is unkempt, he snores and does not clean up after himself. This is the beginning of the “lapping” to each other. He also sees all your shortcomings. Do not get upset. All partners are tested by life. Some successfully, some not so much.
  2. Comparison with the past relationship. After the candy-boquet period, many men and women unwittingly rely on previous experiences. It is as if they are testing themselves. For example, girls often have an internal monologue. “What was it like with the ex?”, “The same feelings I had when I saw him every day?”.
  3. The desire to remake the chosen one. When the blinders come off, you see that you are far from the hero of your romance. But the attachment seems to be formed, and you do not want to break up because of some nonsense. Immediately there is a need to “mold it from what you have.” It is not clear how long will last confetti-bouquet period. But I would like to fight with the disadvantages of a loved one even now.
  4. The lack of a strong sexual desire. But I should say at once that this is a completely normal phenomenon. Physical attraction and passion that were in the beginning of the relationship, are gradually replaced by a desire to care and to communicate emotionally. In other words, emotional intimacy comes to the fore.
  5. The need for personal space . When the “butterflies in the stomach” have calmed down a little, you are sometimes irritated by the constant presence of her husband. You realize that you want to be alone, go for a walk with a friend or read a book. A similar desire arises and the man. What to do if the confetti-bouquet period is over? But the relationship is still going on.

Below I will tell you about simple ways to return romance and former passion if you feel that boredom reigned in your couple.

How to bring back the candy and bouquet period

Girls are easier to arrange a “reset” relationship. You have all the “trump cards” for this: the natural femininity, empathy, wisdom.

Start with yourself.

Selfishly expect from the gentleman, that he will always spoil you and arrange surprises. Show initiative. Surprise your loved one with spontaneous pleasures. For example, ask for leave work early and organize a trip to the amusement park or a trip to the movies. It all depends on your imagination and creativity.

Thank your partner

Warm words inspire a man to perform feats, give him confidence. Suppose that a partner quickly understands that next to him is an eternally disgruntled lady. How long do you think the confetti-bouquet period will last? Probably only a couple of months. So if you want to have novelty and lightness in the couple as long as possible, give compliments, thank your husband for every little thing.

Play “cat and mouse.

Representatives of the stronger sex do not like boredom in a relationship. As soon as a man realizes that you have dissolved into it, he immediately loses interest. When one partner falls into a love addiction, it’s a road to nowhere. Your task – constantly warm up the feelings of his chosen one. But not with the help of manipulation and claims, and gently in a female way.

Take care of yourself, meet with friends, do not forget about hobbies. As soon as the man feels that you have started to move away, he immediately increased his testosterone. Voila – and in front of you again a passionate “macho” who is ready for the craziest things.

And, of course, use the main weapon – flirting. At the online course “The Art of Feminine Flirting”, we analyze the most effective tricks. How to constantly hold the attention of your lover? What to say to your partner fulfill all your desires? How to behave in order to build a perfect relationship for love? Answers at the course Pavel Rakov.

In the meantime, I invite you to a discussion of the topic of the article. Is it possible to maintain the passion and intrigue in a relationship after the candy-boquetal period?

Leave a Comment