Books on pickup and seduction: top 9 best books
The proposed material does not claim to be the absolute truth in the last instance, or an exclusive source of knowledge in the field of pickup and expresses the subjective opinion of the author of the article.
The need for an in-depth study of pick-up appeared in me, not with the purpose of learning how to meet girls, because at that time I was not at zero, but because of the interest in this phenomenon.
What was the conclusion I was able to draw? Pickup is not a panacea, and it carries both positives and negatives.
There are many false ideas and unfinished concepts in pickup. But this is generally normal for such a young movement, as the date of its birth is considered to be 1994.
When reading books on pickup, you should not believe every word written, especially if the proposed ideas are completely at odds with your worldview, are at odds with your experience or do not catch your fancy at all.
Any book on pickup is a subjective view of the author on the issues in question, i.e. a model of his views, beliefs and experience, which cannot fully meet the needs of every reader.
In addition, in the process of studying and analyzing new knowledge there is a distortion of perceived information, so any teacher, to one degree or another, will always be misunderstood to the end by his students.
Personally, I have not been looking for anything perfect and flawless for quite some time, so I am used to using selectively any ideas that interest me, regardless of what their source is.
This article is not an advertisement and in no way aims to encourage the reader to sign up for a paid training session at any of the schools of seduction or to purchase paid materials.
The 9 best books on pickup and seduction
1. Mystery Method.
The book “The Mystery Method” by author Eric von Markowitz (aka Mystery) was truly something revolutionary at the time of its inception.
Mystery decided to depart from the then-common approach based on NLP techniques, proposed and developed the idea of male worth, the concept of attraction and its indicators, described a model of “effective” behavior, and much more.
Credit must also be given to the elaboration of the book itself. It is very structured and easy to understand, as if it were a methodological manual for a serious educational institution.
My first reaction to “The Mystery Method” was an exclamation: “Wow!” However, it didn’t take long for my opinion to turn into, “Well, yeah…”
Personally, the Mystery Method hindered me more than it helped me. The systematicness, the methodicality, the presence of externally imposed frameworks seemed to constrain me, forcing me to be someone else, introducing a sense of stiffness and unnaturalness into my behavior.
The patterns described, the specific techniques and ways of displaying myself, and the conscious tracking of women’s reactions in order to regulate my actions, were more akin to the behavior of a magician, which is what Mystery was. It was as if you were a performer, performing in public according to a prearranged script to impress your audience.
Anyway, that approach was not for me.
But there are still valuable thoughts in the Mystery Method, the main ones being, for example, the idea of moving the girl, as well as logistics in general, female investment, kinesthetics in the early stages of dating, social affirmation, “buyer’s remorse.”
2. David X “Be Hard.”
After first encountering this book, I had almost no emotion whatsoever. “That’s it? What was that even about? It’s just nonsense.”
After a while, however, something made me reread the work in question again, and then again, after which something in me clicked.
If the Mystery Method has an outward focus on capturing women’s attention and manipulating women’s emotions, David X invites us to remember the most important person in each of our lives: ourselves.
Some quotes from the book:
“You have to do exactly what YOU want to do.”
“I’m on the road of life, and I know where I’m going. If she wants to go with me, she’s welcome. I don’t go her way, I go my way.
When I talk to a woman, she’s in my restaurant and she’s looking at my menu. And the menu won’t change unless I want it to.”
“The whole orientation of seduction psychology is wrong, by the way. It just makes you overanalyze and forget about the most important person in the relationship — yourself.
You can’t think for her. Leave it to her. Think for yourself. Instead of “what she wants,” think about what you and only you want. Be honest and consistent. This will teach you more valuable things than money and techniques. It will teach you honesty.”
“I’m not asking you to use patterns, formulas, hypnosis, meta-messages, pheromones, and funny sports cars. I’m not asking you to divide 756 times the square root of 17, minus 0.8, plus 68 to the 7th degree. I’m saying, “Know what you want, and tell her.”
I don’t want you to stick to my system. I say stick to yours.”
“I’m a man, and she does what I want her to do. If she doesn’t like it, there are others outside. My house is a dictatorship, not a democracy.”
“When I go out, I don’t care about anybody but me. When you go out in public, you say to yourself, ‘I want to go out and give somebody a good time. It doesn’t matter if I have a good time or not, but someone will have a good time.” Or are you thinking, “I’m going out to have a good time?”
Who cares about their pastime? Chances are you’ll never see them again.
Hello! Who goes out to have a good time? You or them? Say out loud: “I’m going out to have a good time. Я. Myself. Only I can be responsible for myself!”
“I give you two rules. Not two hundred. TWO. “Who cares what she thinks there” and “You’re the most important person in the relationship” .
They sound like a couple of pretty silly rules at first. But every time you hear them, they make more and more sense to you.
If you don’t care what she thinks, all your fears disappear. And if you truly believe that you are the most important person in the relationship, you begin to take responsibility for your life. It forces you to be strong, decisive, honest and congruent.
What to decide is up to you. I’m not saying be me, I’m saying be YOU.”
“If you can learn these rules, you’re done, and you’ll never need help from outsiders again. You’ll finally understand exactly what to say to them and how to behave with them.
They love me because I’m honest. I’m more honest than any of you will ever be.”
“The best patterns are the pure truth running through your head.”
David X with his simple presentation and similar approach as if he is hammering his values into the brain, which are absolutely universal and do not require unnecessary refinements.
And if the presentation of the material may seem really tough and harsh, on closer reading will come the understanding that the author in the most accessible language explains to men what beliefs are worth having for success with women, which at the same time does not prevent you from being a gentleman.
I can safely call the book “Be Hard” my favorite book in the field of seduction.
3) Ozzie “The physical game
This book was written by Ozzie, one of the trainers of RSD (Real Social Dynamics), and deals with club dating, in which kinesthetics play a special role.
In this book you will find tips on how to behave in the club, how and when to touch girls, how and where to take girls out of the club, etc.
Overall, the book is useful.
4. Alex Leslie “Life Without Panties.
Alex Leslie – a Russian representative of their own school of seduction, and “Lives Without Panties” is a kind of distorted and recycled in his own way a variation of the Mystery Method.
In general, the book is interesting, periodically making you go into a wild laughter when reading it.
In my opinion, the work in question, as well as the Mystery Method, spreads a somewhat outdated view of issues in the field of seduction, but contains some tricks with which you can really organize “explosive” moments in your life.
Also, it can be difficult for beginners to understand what “being yourself” even means, so Mystery-style books will be a good help.
Still, some of the techniques offered in “Life Without Panties” sometimes help not to seduce girls, but rather to scare them away.
5. Alex Leslie, “How to Wake Up in a Visit? or Secrets of Successful Dating.”
Alex Leslie does not give a bread, let him write a book.
This book is dedicated to the topic of calling up girls, as well as holding dates.
You should not refer to the information contained therein as a standard of “correct” behavior, but it contains some interesting ideas.
6. Attraction Institute “The Community of Seducers Sucks”.
The author of LoGun from the Attraction Institute makes an attempt to shed light on a dead-end but common approach in seduction, where a pick-up tries to gain a girl’s favor, makes an effort to win her over or make her like him, behaves unnaturally, tries on other people’s masks, automatically falling into dependence on the result, trying to avoid falling into dependence on the result.
If you like this book that promotes natural or natural seduction, you can also find and read “End game” by the Attraction Institute.
7. Alan Roger Currie “Type One”.
The main leitmotif of this book is not to be afraid to express your true intentions toward women.
“You express your needs, desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in a very confident, implacable, direct, and very definite manner. Your behavior is usually very assertive, calm, open, and provocative. You do not seek approval and emotional stroking from women. You are a paragon of “self-centered indifference.” You don’t like wasting your time with women who have no genuine desire to share your romantic and/or s*xual desires and interests. You don’t like associating with manipulative women.”
8. Tyler Durden “The Blueprint”
This book, authored by Owen Cooke (aka Tyler Durden), founder of RSD (Real Social Dynamics), is theoretical material that reveals the attractive power that is hidden within you–the power of your personality.
The information in said book is chewed up and contains some really useful stuff, but, in my opinion, is at times logically confusing.
As I see it, Tyler has taken the concept of value developed by Mystery and taken it to the next level. In addition, he has clearly absorbed Eckhart Tolle’s thoughts based on the tenets of Indian religious teachings, diluted them with ideas of the stream state studied by Mihai Chixentmihai, spicing them up with frame concepts from NLP, and supplementing them with some statements resembling David X’s view. The result is some unimaginable Molotov cocktail in the field of pick-up.
But if the same Buddhism talks about getting rid of one’s self in order to overcome the limitations of the mind, to reach the level of perfect consciousness, when one stops identifying with his “habitual” personality, starting to direct his attention at will and not clinging to spontaneously arising thoughts, the flow state pursues the goal of strengthening one’s self, i.e. you are the same, but you get better.
Tyler, on the one hand, speaks of a basic confidence that can be developed, after which one is capable of sincerely expressing oneself without having to think about the approval of others. On the other hand, he writes about calibration, that is, adjusting one’s behavior to the needs of others. There is a certain contradiction here.
I may be clinging to words or distorting the meaning of the concept being proposed, but it seems to me that if you believe there is a certain standard of behavior that is possible as a result of your gaining basic confidence, in addition to which you become a mega-calibrator (someone who is sensitive to environmental changes and changes his behavior accordingly), you are likely to fall under the influence of utopian ideas that make you buy more and more pick-up courses.
You don’t need to get or become something in order to show the power of your personality without trying to get a girl to like you and be able to sincerely express yourself. So what do you need?
I’ll answer in the words of David X: “Decide what you want to do, and do it. Stop thinking for women, and start thinking for yourself.”
9. Lail Lowndes, “S.S.S. Hidden S*xual Signals.”
The academic eye of professional American psychologists has not been able to avoid the issues of dating, love, and the relationship between a man and a woman.
As a result of thousands of hours of observation of the behavior of visitors to various entertainment establishments, prone to dating, it was found that not less than 2/3 of the time the initiator of communication, which eventually grew into a couple, was a woman.
This does not mean that it is the woman who usually approaches the man and starts the conversation. Of course not, and we should not expect it.
However, women have another toolkit at their disposal to attract men’s attention – the so-called “hidden s*xual signals”.
About them, and discussed in this book, and concludes that it is more effective to get acquainted not just with those who you like, but with those who you like from those who like you.
By learning to read women’s cues better, there should be far fewer blank shots on the “love hunt.
If you don’t have the desire to absorb the full contents of this book, in that case you can read a brief excerpt of the 26 signs of interest described in this article.
The Psychology of Communication with a Girl: A Short Course
The psychology of communicating with a girl: 9 basic rules + 5 unforgivable mistakes + 5 best books on the topic.
It beats showing up some blond goddess on your way home from university, as you begin to blush, pale and green, changing color more often than a chameleon in the jungle? You’re not going to see a settled personal life for a long time.
Let’s speed up the process: I’ll give you all the “keys and passwords”, all the “chips” psychology of communication with the girls. Ready to be the new Casanova? Then let’s go!
The 9 fundamental rules of psychology and communication with the girls
Be positive with a girl.
Yes, yes, we also know that gasoline and utility bills are rising, that North Korea is testing nuclear weapons, and that our winters are snowless. But the girl knows that, too!
No, we are not talking about the “Maserati” as a gift.Just come out from time to time for the Bermuda triangle “house-pizza-movie”: give homemade gifts, learn for your sweetheart verse, show a simple trick, having mastered it on the Internet video.
Did you make a great hairstyle? Praise her, she did it for you. Dressed up in a pretty dress? You’ll get a kick out of it, too.
Can I tell you another sure way to improve your self-esteem and become an expert in the psychology of girls? Until you decide with the one and only, “light up” with a few ladies. After all, they somehow unknown to science feel the competition: you become a megapopular guy and just really fountain of self-confidence.
From such an intrusive admirer (other girls will not lie) wants to run away as from the Chinese with SARS.
Be an interesting conversationalist for girls.
And for this you need to read not only the manual to the new vacuum cleaner and watch something more useful than videos with kitties. Stick to classic literature, quality documentaries, learn languages, etc.
Relationship psychology with a girl suggests some good topics for first dates:
Funny stories from childhood.
No, come on: which of the girls would not be moved by a story about a poochy kitten? And how manly all these husky owners!
Dose the communication with the girl.
The holiday is good because he is a rare guest in your life. Be and you be such a ray in the life of a girl: end communication as soon as you feel that its peak is passed, the most interesting left behind.
Know how to listen to the girl.
Be honest with the girl.
That is, let her know what you expect from her – friendship, sex, or just a lecture on medieval history.
Otherwise you send the wrong signals, and then you’ll have to “hide” from the young lady in love or hurt. And no knowledge of the psychology of relationships will not help here.
The top 5 mistakes in the psychology of communication with girls: when you obviously are not macho…
If you do not want girls along with all their psychology of communication to pass you at cruising speed, do not make the following mistakes:
You don’t look a girl in the eye during a conversation.
Yeah, well, it’s much more interesting to “poke” at your shoelaces or stare at your coffee cup. Otherwise she’ll think you’ve already kidnapped her, raped her, and served time for that crime.
You immediately let your hands, lips, and other parts of the body loose, clearly hinting at intimacy.
“Why the hell is he pulling dust in my eyes? Show-off!” – A girl who understands the psychology of relationships will think in the second case, and she’ll be absolutely right.
You’re pestering the girl with topics she’s obviously not interested in.
No one is asking you to support a conversation about the benefits of gel polish over regular manicure, but do not nerd out, please, about computer games, historical characters and work.
You want an example? Take all the time you need! One beau of mine was sent “retired” for lamenting on a second date that I didn’t know Stalin’s real, first name and couldn’t remember the details of the Barbarossa plan.
The second original almost put me to sleep with a story about the remarkable capabilities of spreadsheets Excel. No, Vasya, of course I understand that you teach computer science to students, but why me?
10 rules for communicating with a girl.
How to get a girl interested? Tips and recommendations.
Communicating with girls: a reading not for the lazy
Ask us why it’s not for the lazy? And the fact is that every night to go on a date with a pretty girl – this is not you in the “Tanchiki” beat. That’s where the energy is supposed to flow.
Read the best books on the psychology of communication with the girls and get ready to be hot:
|1||“Man for sale”||Egor Sheremetev|
|2||“Woman: a textbook for men”||Oleg Novoselov|
|3||“Man+Woman: To Know and Conquer”||V.Sheynov|
|4||“Men from Mars, Women from Venus”||John Gray|
|5||“The Language of Relationships: Man-Woman.”||Allan and Barbara Pease.|
Now, armed with our tips on the psychology of communication with the girl and the best coaching books, you can safely ask any beautiful woman on a date.
Where are you going? Ran to write a message on Facebook Ravshan Kurkova herself? Or Paulina Andreeva?