Apologizing to your friend – conveying all the nuances

How to apologize to your friend

Contributor(s): Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Michelle Shahbazyan is the founder of The LA Life Coach, a personal, family and career coaching service based in Los Angeles, CA. She has over 10 years of experience in personal coaching, counseling, motivational speaking and matchmaking. She holds bachelor’s degrees in applied psychology and master’s degrees in construction and technology management from the Georgia Institute of Technology, and a master’s degree in psychology with a concentration in family psychotherapy from Phillips Graduate University.

Number of views on this article: 5479.

Apologizing is not easy, as it requires the person to admit that he or she has previously done wrong. If you want to mend your relationship with a friend, then apologizing is essential. Boys and men are less emotional than girls and women, but they also expect and appreciate an appropriate apology.

  • If you don’t yet know the answer to this question, consider your recent actions or words. What might you have done to upset your friend?
  • If you can’t establish a reason, you just need to ask. Making a sincere apology won’t work if you don’t know what the problem is.

  • Sometimes it is difficult because people don’t like to admit their own mistake or wrongdoing. It’s important to understand that without admitting it, it’s impossible to offer a sincere apology and build a friendship.

  • Did you insult his views or values?
  • Did you hurt his feelings?
  • Did you deceive your friend?
  • Did you insult his family or another loved one?
  • Did you physically hurt him?

  • Most people strongly discourage apologizing in a message because it makes it seem insincere. By doing so, you show that you don’t have the time or desire to apologize personally, and you don’t value friendship.

  • It is better to wait for both parties to calm down and pull themselves together. Very often an instant apology can sound insincere and selfish. But you shouldn’t wait too long either, lest the friend accumulate resentment. [2] X Source of Information
  • At this time, you might consider what words you should say.

  • “I want to apologize for what I did.”
  • “Ask me for what I said yesterday.”
  • “I need to apologize for my behavior.”
  • “Apologize for the way I treated you.”

  • If you really want to explain your behavior, it’s best to articulate the reasons why the guilt remains with you. For example, say, “I let myself say rude things about you because I felt the need to fit in with a new team.” Don’t say the following: “I know I shouldn’t have said that, but you provoked that reaction yourself.”

  • “I admit I was wrong.”
  • “I know I acted rudely, and you don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
  • “I realize I made a mistake.”
  • “I made a mistake and I fully admit it.”

  • “I’ll buy you a new pen to replace the broken one.”
  • “I don’t like that they made me tease others to be friends with them, so I won’t hang out with them anymore. I already have good friends like you.”
  • “I also want to apologize to your loved ones. What I said was just awful.”
  • “I will never lie to you again, as I really appreciate our friendship.”

  • Try to meet the friend in person or make a phone call. If you decide to write a letter, then mail it or leave it where the friend can find it.
  • During the conversation, don’t look for excuses for your actions.
  • Act calmly. If you cry, the friend may feel guilty, even though you are to blame. This can make the friend angry and turn the conversation into a quarrel.
  • Let him or her interrupt you if the friend is upset or wants to say something. There’s no need to overreact if you don’t like what he’s saying. That way you show that you mean what you say and value your friendship. [5] X Source of Information

  • You don’t have to get angry and yell at him. The person is free to accept or not accept the apology. If you have severely offended your friend, he may refuse to forgive you.
  • If the mistake cost you your friendship, accept responsibility for that outcome.
  • No need to beg for forgiveness or ask how you make amends. It is better to take the initiative and return the trust of your friend with your actions.

  • Keep promises without complaint. Otherwise, you’ll only cross out the apology and can even shift the blame on your friend.
  • In the case of rejection it is even more important to try to make amends, to be able to regain the trust of the friend.

  • There is no need to keep coming back to the problem regardless of whether the friend accepted your apology or not. If the outcome is positive, reminders can irritate the person and cause more problems. If the friend didn’t accept your apology, then don’t pester the person so as not to alienate the friend even more.
  • The apology should be brief, so do not stretch the conversation or letter. Say what you want to say and move on.
  • Speak sincerely and back up your words with further action.
  • Look at the situation through the eyes of a friend to better understand the grievance.
  • Don’t drag other friends into the situation. The more people in the loop, the more likely rumors and complications will arise.

More articles

  1. ↑http://www.perfectapology.com/how-to-apologize.html
  2. ↑http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/08/23/how-to-apologize-like-a-man/
  3. ↑https://hbr.org/2013/06/the-most-effective-ways-to-mak/
  4. ↑http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-extraordinary-ways-to-say-%E2%80%9Ci%E2%80%99m-sorry%E2%80%9D-and-mean-it-using-this-2-step-process/
  5. ↑https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201308/read-you-apologize-her-or-him

About this article

Contributor(s): Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Michelle Shahbazyan is the founder of The LA Life Coach, a personal, family and career coaching service based in Los Angeles, California. She has over 10 years of experience in personal coaching, counseling, motivational speaking and matchmaking. She holds bachelor’s degrees in applied psychology and master’s degrees in construction and technology management from the Georgia Institute of Technology, and a master’s degree in psychology with a concentration in family psychotherapy from Phillips Graduate University. Number of views on this article: 5479.

Apologizing to your friend – conveying all the nuances

Friendships often suffer because of feelings of pride. Having apologized, it is not at all easy to apologize to a loved one. That is why sometimes it is so important to be the first to go to peace. For reconciliation sometimes one sincere word is enough, but situations are, of course, different. So, how best to apologize to a friend for this or that problem, avoiding platitudes and insincerity?

Beautiful apology to the girl.

  • My lies may have been dark clouds, but your forgiveness will be the stars and the sun in our relationship. I beg you to forgive me.
  • If you cannot see my tears in your eyes, I beg you to at least feel the pain in my heart. I beg your forgiveness. It is sad that your love so kind has been corrupted by my selfish mind.
  • Sad that your love so unselfish has had to face all this mess. And now ironically my regret and grief is seen as fake. Tell me, what would it take for me to make you believe that my apology is sincere? I am willing to do so.
  • My reprobate mind made the mistake of lying to you. But my heart and soul are forever devoted to love only for you. So I ask for your forgiveness.
  • Before forgiving me, I want you to embrace me and put your hand on my heart. Maybe you can feel it tearing apart. Because my actions have made you hurt. But with every beat of it, you’ll hear the words “I’m sorry.”
  • I’m sorry! Let’s move from anger or resentment to love and communication if you’re willing to accept my apology. (Recommend reading ways you can successfully manage your anger and irritation).
  • I am ready in front of all my friends and family to apologize to you. And even post my apology on , , Instagram or . To let everyone know how sorry I am for hurting you.

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About guilt

It’s worth saying right off the bat that many people are moved by guilt in the moment of an apology. Want to justify themselves in front of a friend for their misdeeds, to change the offense. Of course, there is nothing wrong in such an impulse. Moreover, psychologists argue that people who have a special tendency to awaken feelings of guilt, are kinder and more loyal in life.

However, the guilty person should repent sincerely, realizing in what exactly was his mistake. If this does not happen, the friend will certainly feel the catch and the long-awaited reconciliation and will not take place.

Warnings .

  • Do not expect that you just like that and make up. Everything takes time.
  • Words, like peace offers, are cheap. Your actions, believe me, will be remembered. So less words, more deeds!

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What should you apologize for?

Also, an extremely important question concerns the reason that prompted the person to take this step. Which of them are peremptory and always entail an apology?

  1. A serious betrayal of any kind.
  2. Apologize if the offender severely hurt the friend in word or deed.
  3. Also apologetic words will be appropriate if due to the actions of the offender the property or financial situation of the friend has suffered.
  4. Apologies are always made after fights.
  5. It is necessary to apologize and in the case if the offender let a friend down.

Everyone can do wrong or insult, but to apologize for it, and even more sincere is capable only of moral strength. Below we look at the most effective ways to admit guilt.

Apologize to your boyfriend in your own words.

  • Are you looking for a beautiful phrase that can reflect your feelings? Are you thinking about the words of apology to your beloved boyfriend or man, but have not yet found the right words? Below you will find samples of such apologies that you can send to your boyfriend.
  • Since we began dating, you have done everything I have asked of you. As a final favor, please excuse me so that now I can also begin to fulfill your requests.
  • I cried while I still had tears. Then I sobbed until my head began to throb. And then screamed until my voice was gone. I was heartbroken that you turned your back on me and we stopped talking. I am so sorry for you. Please accept my apology.
  • Breaking up with you is something that never even occurred to me. You seem adamant about breaking up with me. Yes, I know you have the right to do so after all the humiliation and insult you have suffered because of what I did. But please, let me make a romantic evening for you. Let me win your heart again to show you how desperately I love you. Crying out for mercy, please forgive me.
  • I apologize for the angry messages on your , emails and all the texts on your cell phone sent by me. My jealousy and possessiveness have led me into a very unpleasant zone. For my justification, try to understand my feelings. What could I do when I have the most handsome guy that other ladies wouldn’t mind stealing? I misinterpreted your behavior with them, so I snapped. If you love me, please forgive me and help my jealousy to end.
  • It really annoys me when pretty girls try to flirt with you. Since I’m your girlfriend, I can’t feel at ease. But I promise that next time I’ll try to keep my head and behave with more restraint. I’ll try to learn to trust you, especially when girls drool at the sight of you. I beg your indulgence and forgiveness.

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Advice from a psychologist

Experts say that an apology will have a quicker effect if the person presses on the shared past. You can come to the meeting in a dress that was given to the girl by her friend. As mentioned above, it is better to make an appointment in a familiar and familiar place.

It is also very important to behave frankly, to say only the words that your friend wants to hear. If the quarrel was a trifle, you can reduce everything to a joke. However, if the person is really guilty, he should speak very seriously, to make his friend feel better.

In the case of a serious quarrel, it is not necessary to put pressure on your friend. It is unlikely that he will be able to forgive you immediately, but with time the realization of the strength of the spiritual bond will surely come, and the conflict will be forgotten.

Apologize “face-to-face” or “in absentia”.

Let’s try to understand in more detail who should apologize face-to-face with a friend. This should be done in the following cases:

  • If the quarrel was very large;
  • If the person committed a betrayal;
  • If friends have not communicated for several months or even years;
  • if the way with absentee reconciliation did not help.

Sending an SMS is very easy, but in person, looking in the eyes, to say the word “sorry” is not everyone. That is why so valued the courage to admit mistakes. Apologize in absentia is necessary in the case where the offender was not really to blame for the conflict, but his friend has a temper.

Quite often in relationships of old friends, someone has to make concessions because of the peculiarities of the nature of the second. This is not bad at all, and the main thing in this situation in time to reconcile, so as not to lose a reliable companion.

Where to begin?

Before you apologize, it’s important to consider a few things. Otherwise, it is possible to make a mess of things with the best of motives. It’s not a good idea to work things out when you’re annoyed. Wait until you both cool down. And a few more tips:

Thinking up how to ask for forgiveness from a girl, in verse or prose, it is important to be sincere

Notes of sarcasm are inappropriate, even if you’re sure you’re right. Expressions like: “Sorry, I didn’t think you didn’t get the joke,” can be taken as a mockery. If you’re being sincere, your look and your tone of voice will tell you that. Even if the offense isn’t warranted, acknowledge that you may have hurt feelings. A sincere apology removes the wall that is built by the person offended. Break down that wall and, you will notice that the girl is no longer taking a defensive stance, peace has been restored.

You have to consider different upbringing.

What seems like a funny joke to you will be an insult to another. There is no need to pander to the feelings of another or somehow ridicule them. If your family is in the habit of teasing each other and no one is offended by it, it does not mean that it is the norm for others. Do not demand that they adapt to you and understand your jokes. In time, they probably will, but for now, apologize and don’t make any more jokes about others.

Emotional background also needs to be taken into account, it’s different for every person.

Growing up in the same family, the characters cannot be the same. Some are more emotional and some are not. You think that taking your sister’s sweater without permission is allowed, and she may be annoyed. You end up in a scandal. You think your sister got worked up for nothing. Listen to what she said, not the way it was said. Try to understand what she doesn’t like. Understanding will help you come to the right decision. And if you need to ask your sister for forgiveness, don’t hesitate to do so. Understand that she may feel differently, not as you do.

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How to hold yourself when apologizing and how to create the right environment

After any insult, it is possible to reconcile if it is a true friendship. However, it is very important to create the right environment here. It is best to arrange the meeting in a place that is meaningful to both friends. For example, this can be a cafe where they have always met before.

It is also important to allow enough time for the meeting. Offended friend should not seem that you are in a hurry somewhere. The atmosphere should be extremely relaxed, calm. That is why it is better to choose for a meeting a familiar place without loud music, where you can have a normal conversation.

It is also important to hold yourself correctly in the process of apologizing. What are the nuances that are important to take into account?

  1. You should not be too nervous.
  2. You should think through the speech in advance, but not memorize it, so that the words seem more sincere.
  3. You must forget about the arrogance and arrogance. Apologizing as a handout is unlikely to work in this case.
  4. You can press for sympathy, for example, to let in a stingy tear. But weeping is not recommended.
  5. A man should be sociable, but not excessively cheerful.

Rules: What else is important to consider besides the words of forgiveness

  1. Look the person in the eye.
  2. Do not hold back your emotions.
  3. When you feel like crying, cry.
  4. Call the person by their name.
  5. Be honest and sincere.
  6. Do not try to ask for forgiveness right away. This may take time.
  7. Put yourself in the place of the offended person, understand his feelings.
  8. Accept the person’s reaction after your words.

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Show that you’re upset.

Another surefire way to get forgiveness is to show your sadness. This is especially well used by girls, who may also cry if necessary. It is important not to go overboard here. After all, if a girl starts to cry over a trifle quarrel, she will look ridiculous and her apology will be insincere.

You can show your sadness with the help of social networks, for example, by posting a joint photo with a friend. You can also talk in person about how the abuser’s life has changed in a negative way without a buddy. All this will help to find common ground faster.

More ready-made phrases to ask for forgiveness:

Sometimes, just one word can hurt a person. Here I am, not at all with malice, hurt you, and now I just can’t find my place. Forgive me, please. I am so sad without you. Don’t hold it against me anymore. This fight was a great lesson for me.

With you beside me I breathe, With you beside me I burn, With you beside me I live, And without you I die, Forgive me, I beg you!

My prickly hedgehog, stop snorting. Even if it hurts, but I want to embrace.

Love, life is mistakes, we learn from our mistakes! For there is no greater pain than that inflicted on each other by those in love. And I stumbled and made a mistake. But, the only person who doesn’t make mistakes is the one who never does anything. I’m not making excuses, no, I just want you to understand that you are very precious to me, and everything I don’t do is just because I’m afraid of losing you!

Fear of losing you has turned my head, and I was wrong. And I beg you, my love, don’t judge me harshly, but understand. I apologize for what I have done. I love you very much and I will do everything for your happiness! Forgive me dearly.

I am so lucky in life that fate has given me you. You are my angel, my most beloved girl in the world. I apologize for hurting you, my sunshine. Please forgive me. Not trusting you was a great lesson for me. Let’s make up, my kitten.

I promise to make you the happiest girl in the world, just forgive me and believe me, my good one. My love will be a talisman for you, my only and desired one.

Every day I live without you is just an unbearable ordeal. I think of you every minute, my joy. Please forgive me for hurting you. After all, it was not out of spite. I love you more than life. Do not be offended by me anymore.

Let’s keep our love, because we’re so good together. My love, I breathe you. I need you like air.

But it was in the heat of the moment. That’s what happens to everybody. Forgive me, please, I’ve only loved once.

Forgive me for all the superfluous words I’ve spoken, For all the silly things I’ve done. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, believe me, there’s no limit to my remorse! I want to look into your eyes again… Please forgive me!

I know it’s not a word you can’t catch, but you can’t catch it. So I, too, quite accidentally, flew out such hurtful words to you. Forgive me, please, I realize that I have said nonsense to you, but it was not out of spite. I do love you. You’re the best guy in the world. Let’s make up, kitten, and forget about that day forever.

Oh, darling, please forgive me for what I said. ♪ I can’t stand the long goodbye ♪ ♪ And I’m tired of being resentful ♪

I feel so empty in my heart, my love, because I’m not with you. I know that I am to blame. You have a patient, angelic character, and I took advantage of it, and I hurt you undeservedly. Forgive me, my kitten, don’t hold any more grudges against me. Let us make up, and be together again.

Forget all the words I said before, Forgive me, I misbehaved…

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The most common mistakes when apologizing

The first and perhaps most common mistake is arrogant behavior. The person purposely does everything to show his superiority. He apologizes grudgingly, so there is no desire to accept it.

Here are a few other mistakes that will doom your apology mission to complete failure:

  • Apologizing is done hastily, without a pre-planned plan;
  • During the conversation, the offender is trying to prove a point;
  • An apology for a serious transgression is limited to the phrase “well, I’m sorry”;
  • the person tries to beat out forgiveness with gifts;
  • he throws off his guilt by blaming everyone else.

Psychologists advise to partially forget about pride for the duration of the conversation. Even if the guy or girl does not consider themselves guilty, they should compromise their principles for the sake of friendship.

If the apology will be pronounced sincerely, and most importantly, in time, reconciliation is sure to be achieved.

Irina, Nevinnomyssk.

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