A no-strings-attached relationship with a married man – explaining the point

Friendship sex: 8 basic rules

Relationships without commitment only seem simple in appearance, in fact, a woman subconsciously becomes attached to the man with whom she has had intimacy. Therefore, it is worth adhering to the rules that will help you fully control the process.

Each woman has her own psychology, her own rules of the game and her own view of the relationship with a man. Someone chooses a family at 19, someone build a career to 30, and someone is just content with freedom and not in a hurry to put a ring on her ring finger.

WDay.ru, together with psychologist and sex coach Ekaterina Fedorova talked about what helps to keep distance in a free relationship and how to behave to avoid playing around.

We are not going to talk about morals and norms, about why women choose a relationship without commitment, why they need it, and so on. There are many reasons for this, including disappointment from past relationships, a failed first marriage, psychological attitudes, and the intimate side of things.

Why are we even touching this topic? Women after sex produce a huge amount of oxytocin, the hormone of affection, which means that free relationships, if not controlled, can play a cruel joke ( read also : “I refuse to have sex with my loved one because of the lack of waxing”).

Forget about jealousy and control

The most important rule that should be clearly observed. You should not control your partner and ask questions: “Where have you been?”, “Who have you been with?”, “Why haven’t you called for three days?”, etc. Of course, this is not always easy, because the woman at a certain stage awakens a sense of ownership. However, if a woman chooses this kind of relationship, she should understand that her partner’s private life is open to other women, and if this fact is difficult to accept – then the relationship without obligation is not for you.

Respect each other’s freedom

The most important rule of a relationship without obligation is freedom. Do not limit your communication with men: get acquainted, smile, be interesting to yourself and others. The same rule applies to your partner – complete freedom of action and preferences.

Do not start a conversation on domestic topics

“Can you imagine, today I called a plumber, and he did not come”, “I took the curtains to the dry cleaners – as there were stains, and remain, what do they do there? Agree, reminiscent of the remarks of a wife with an experience. For men, this is a direct call that they are trying to join the family problems, even if you had no idea (also read: Rules of dialogue in a couple: 5 everyday things that kill relationships).

Don’t forget about contraception.

A free relationship should be safe, so don’t forget to protect yourself. Even if your partner insists on closer contact, it’s best not to take any chances. In addition, it is better to choose the means of protection together – so you can determine the necessary level of protection and avoid an unpleasant incident.

Don’t introduce him to friends and relatives

The most frivolous act of a girl in a free relationship is to invite her partner to a family celebration or a party with her friends. Not only that such a proposal may not please the man, but also the relatives will think that if you introduce – it means that the wedding is coming soon. Not everyone is capable of understanding a relationship without commitment. Today you told your friend about the passionate night, and tomorrow all acquaintances look at you askew ( read also : 5 signs of the ideal mistress in the eyes of men).

Be spontaneous and unpredictable

If your partner suits you and you do not want the flirtation to end quickly, be different and unpredictable. However, you should not fulfill your partner’s whims at short notice. If he wanted you to repaint your hair or change your clothing style – do not immediately run to the beauty salon and shopping.

Don’t spend a lot of time with your partner.

Plan meetings with your partner ahead of time and don’t spend a lot of time together. If you were planning to go to a concert of your favorite artist tonight, and your partner called a couple of hours before it and offered to spend the evening together – do not agree. This way you will show that he is not number one in your life, and next time let him call in advance.

Control your feelings.

Falling in love is not a difficult thing, but unless you plan to turn a temporary fling into a stable relationship, it’s better to keep your emotions under control. I’m a big believer in the idea that if you want an open relationship and still be mentally healthy, you shouldn’t get involved with married men. You will never be completely satisfied in an affair with a married man. You have to understand that an affair with a married man is a hard song. Married women can afford such affairs, although there are many pitfalls here as well. But a free girl should not get involved in all this at all. Let’s be honest: when we were already carried away, and feelings override reason – we are no longer able to objectively assess the situation. So it is important to control yourself and not to do something stupid.

Everything about relationships with a married man A must-read!

It happens that a beautiful, self-sufficient girl enters into a relationship with a married man. What is it for? What does she want out of this relationship? How should she behave and is it even worth continuing?

Each of us has heard stories about relationships with married men, the topic of the “love triangle” is so hackneyed that it is not surprising. Books are written and movies are made about such situations, and the outcome is not multi-faceted – either the lovers reunite or the family reunites.

Love triangle to match the Bermuda Triangle, as it conceals not so much adventure as the unexpected and dangerous. Natalya Rozbitskaya.

Let’s you and I now discuss the pros and cons.

Is it worth starting a relationship with a married man

Let’s start with priority. What kind of relationship model is appropriate for you and what do you expect from the relationship?

Opinions about this relationship are twofold, I think there is no “right” and “left” here, your emotional well-being should play a role here:

  1. Whether or not you have any remorse,
  2. if you’re comfortable not being the only one,
  3. Can you not be jealous and remain neutral?

Relationships with a married man pros and cons


  • If you want a relationship without commitment, this type of relationship is for you
  • Hardened. A “love triangle” relationship is a real “young fighter’s course.” After such a relationship, you will be ready for absolutely all surprises and difficulties.
  • If you’ve always been annoyed by communication with your boyfriend’s family, then I want to make you happy, it’s unlikely that married people will want to introduce you to their family.
  • Experience. It’s likely that he’s mature and experienced, and there’s something you can learn from him.


  • Conspiracy. You won’t be allowed to shine in public, and if you do, you’ll hide the essence of your relationship in every way possible. But these are little things compared to the fact that you will be “Alexander Internet Shop” or “Kolya STO” in the phone book
  • Loneliness. You can’t count on him for the holidays, you’re not likely to have cozy evenings and nights watching a movie.
  • Jealousy. No matter how you convince yourself that this feeling is not peculiar to you, sooner or later it will possess you.
  • Lack of stability. Sorry, but all stability goes to the family.
  • Lack of relationship perspective.

Let’s say you’ve weighed everything out and decided that this kind of relationship has a place in your life, but you don’t fully understand how to properly build it. Let’s walk this way with you from the beginning to the end. What do psychologists and women who are or have been in such a relationship advise.

How to talk to a married man about the relationship.

After you get into a mutual sympathy and move to the “relationship” stage. The very first step is to stipulate all the “rules”. You both understand that strangers should not know about this relationship; you both want the relationship to be easy and unobtrusive; you can even discuss what time you both want to meet. Make it clear so that there are no complaints afterwards.

Say right away what you want to get

  1. Financial gain?
  2. Interest?
  3. Avoidance of loneliness?
  4. Sex without commitment?

Relationship with a married man tips psychologist

This kind of relationship is very complicated. This is a relationship in which a man is limited in his abilities and actions. Often these “restrictions” do not depend on the presence of a spouse, children, or from public opinion, they are often based on the desire of men “to sit on two chairs” and not wanting to lose either his wife or mistress.

More often go “on the side” men who are dominated by polygamy, who are capable of treason and even betrayal. So be on the lookout for such.

To present any claims does not make sense. If you want to understand the true attitude towards you, you should find out some points:

  • The reason for the betrayal. Why did the man cheat? Is he really unhappy with his spouse or is he just looking for “adventure”?
  • Can you be happy in such a relationship?
  • Will the spouse, knowing about the cheating, be able to accept what her husband dictates to her.
  • Will the wife be able to accept the fact that the relationship is in decline.
  • Will you be satisfied with being in the background and settling for what’s left over from his family?

Relationships with a married man how to behave

First and foremost, it’s a no-stamp game. The psychology of a relationship with a married man is a subtle strategy. And if you want to win in this game, you will need not only to awaken your wisdom, but also fill me with incredible strength.

  • Never! Don’t ever, you hear me, get into a relationship with his wife. Don’t make a scene or throw a tantrum. First of all, you came after. Have respect for her and for yourself. Secondly, think to yourself, who will a man choose: a calm and so familiar woman or a hysterical woman who does not know what she wants?
  • Don’t judge. You can do more, you are capable of support!
  • Don’t demand. There are plenty of people and lots of things demanding of him as it is. Help him find peace and harmony.
  • Communicate. Forget resentments, this is not a position in which you can show your whims. Speak directly and solve problems at once. Or split up.
  • Engage. Intrigue. Be different and interesting.

In order to build a relationship with a married man correctly, you need to play by his rules most of the time.

Relationships without obligation with a married man

If you are not interested in the development and duration of the relationship, the best option is a relationship with a married man, if, of course, you are not embarrassed by the fact that you will have to cheat on your spouse. In such a relationship you won’t have to worry about being “nagged,” about being expected and demanding something from you.

Such a relationship does not require you to keep an account and be dependent.

A Long-Term Relationship with a Married Man

If you are in love, you want to support and prolong the relationship in every way possible and don’t care that there are third parties in it.

Do not confuse your love and mutual love. This type of relationship can hardly be called love, because there is no responsibility, and there is practically no other person.

These relationships are convenient: you get a man ready to “use,” you don’t have to groom him, and you don’t have to do the housework. But it’s cool when you don’t claim to be exclusive.

Is it worth continuing a relationship with a married man

If you’ve started to notice that this relationship has become burdensome to you, that you’ve become uncomfortable, then don’t hesitate and end it. Why would you want to destroy yourself? For what purpose?

How to end a relationship with a married man the right way

Have you decided to leave, but are you afraid of traumatizing him or just don’t know how to end a relationship? Don’t sweat it! This is not a case where you’re going to get your heart broken.

Be straightforward and say that you’re no longer happy with the relationship and want to leave. Even if they offer you some alternative or give in on some requests, don’t agree to continue. Nothing will change. He has other priorities.

How to recover from a relationship with a married man

Any relationship, if it ends, ends miserably for the loving partner.

You harbored hopes for a positive outcome to this relationship. It didn’t. And I don’t think it would have. Let’s dispense with the statistics about how many married men go to their mistresses.

What now? Now you have complete freedom and the opportunity to experience the beauty of a full relationship.

  1. After you’ve confirmed and accepted the breakup, cut all ties so you won’t be tempted to come back.
  2. Don’t forget about yourself. Now you have plenty of time to restore your physical and emotional health. Yoga and meditation are great for this.
  3. What were you doing before? Think about your old hobbies, find new hobbies. Distracting yourself is a great way to counteract depression.
  4. Think about the bad qualities of your ex more often. This will help you be less likely to want to get into that relationship again.

The psychology of a married man in a relationship with his mistress

Why does a man want this relationship? Why or from what does he seek them out on the side?

  • Comfort. There is always a place where there is warmth and comfort, where they feed you and put you to bed, and there is a place where it is interesting, where there is a completely different “game” – passionate and unpredictable.
  • Mistresses often save marriages. When a marriage can collapse, when it lacks vitality, and a man lacks an outlet – there are mistresses who harmonize the state of the man, thereby saving the marriage.
  • Image. Often, the mistress is a beautiful image: kind, responsive, sexy and escapist. It is difficult enough to give up such a perfect image of “youthful” lust.

A married man will not fully belong to his mistress. He has a family to take care of, to protect. This is on an instinctive level. He cares about his “pack” and the reputation of his “community.

Don’t expect any romantic exploits from him. This type of relationship is built on understanding and a sense of pettiness. Understanding helps to accept such a man, and indifference helps to keep yourself safe.

Married Woman’s Relationship with a Married Man

Hasty decisions to get married, different interests and other factors lead to marital infidelity and simply to the collapse of the relationship.

Let’s say two people meet each other and their feelings ignite. But, oh, mishap – both one and the other have families. What to do?

  1. First of all, analyze the situation in detail: whether it’s just a burst of feelings or something more, what this relationship gives you and what marriage does not.
  2. If the relationship “on the side” have a humorous, fleeting nature, then destroy the family ties should not be destroyed, but if you both feel that the “newfound” relationship promises something serious and magical, the outcome is one – honest confession.
  3. Dot the “i’s” in families, nothing should stop you. Children won’t be happy in a family where parents don’t love each other; society doesn’t care, and loved ones will be happy for your happiness.

No matter how difficult the relationship is, the hardest part is the confession. “Yes, I love someone else. Yes, I’m not happy with you.”

So, think three times about getting married, think twice about getting into a “love triangle” and, once it happens, think once about breaking the family bonds, but think hard.

( No ratings yet )
Like this post? Please share to your friends:
Leave a Reply