A man takes his time developing a relationship – our take on the issue

He’s not sure he can meet your needs: Why guys take their time developing a relationship

When the development of a relationship drags on, women can get nervous – and that’s normal. After all, it is impossible to guess for sure why a man delays with the next step – he is not confident in his feelings, treats his partner lightly or really has a good reason for procrastination? Here are a few cases where men are forced to slow things down a bit.

He is afraid that his beloved will lose interest in him

Falling in love, every man dreams of as long as possible to experience excitement, fluttering “butterflies in the stomach” and positive emotions. Of course, if you rush things, even the most pleasant things can turn into a routine.

If a man delays with the transition to the next step – for example, the confirmation of the seriousness of the relationship, life together or marriage, perhaps he was just afraid to bore his beloved before time, does not want to be intrusive or does not see enough return in response to his actions. Before getting offended or worried about the fact that sometimes he doesn’t call or come even though he is available, a girl should let the guy know that she is always interested and fun with him, and therefore he shouldn’t be afraid to move forward.

He’s afraid of ruining the friendship.

If a guy and a girl are spending a lot of time together, having fun and having fun, but not kissing or being considered a couple, there are several reasons why a guy is in no hurry to move on to the next level.

Maybe he is not sure that his beloved is ready for this, at the same time he values his communication and friendship and is afraid that after trying to move to the new level he will be left with nothing, having lost both his friendship and his chance for love. Or perhaps the girl herself has exaggerated his feelings in her hopes, and he feels a genuine interest in friendship, but does not even think about a relationship.

However, if a guy offers to meet his friends, it does not mean that he perceives the girl only as a friend

Some men are so shy that they are afraid to be alone with their beloved for a long time. But since you want to communicate with the object of feelings and get used to her too, a guy can invite her for a walk in his “hangout”. Next to friends he will feel relaxed and be able to get a better look at the chosen one, and then move on to talk one-on-one.

The lover reminds him of an ex-girlfriend.

Even if a girl just looks like her boyfriend’s ex, it does not mean that he chose her according to this principle – most people just like a certain type and they select their partners according to this type (even unconsciously). But the resemblance can be in the voice, the facial expressions, and the character.

One should not think that a man does not enter into a serious relationship with a woman just because he is still in love with his ex. He may simply be in pain from the memories associated with her, and therefore afraid to see her traits in another girl, associating her with something hurtful or bad. He should definitely be given a little more time for the individual traits of the new sweetheart to overshadow any resemblance to his ex, and he should finally make a decisive move.

He’s afraid to move on to live communication

This reason refers to those who met a girl on the Internet, but are in no hurry to switch to a telephone conversation or a meeting in real life. This is not a terrible thing, just maybe the man is not yet confident enough in himself and in the serious intentions of his companion. It’s easier for him to think about messages in a quiet setting, sending messages written with imagination and wit, than to be nervous, stuttering and mumbling face-to-face.

He is not yet sure he can meet all the needs of his beloved

A truly in love man is incapable of overestimating himself, but is perfectly capable of doing so in relation to his girlfriend. Believing that this ideal creature, which is his partner, is worthy at least a prince on a white horse, but he himself, of course, her not worthy.

But time helps to solve this problem: communicating a little longer, men and women develop a kind of joint life, spending time together, visiting cafes and various interesting places. Getting to know each other better, if, of course, these people really fit together, they begin to appreciate the loved one without devaluing themselves. And this is where falling in love becomes love.

He doesn’t want to disappoint his girlfriend.

Everyone has some kind of fantasy before a relationship begins, triggered by the books they read, their favorite romantic movies, and even Disney romantic cartoons. Knowing this, some guys are afraid that they can’t create the same fairy tale in reality for their girlfriends. But the point is that real life (given a healthy and sincere relationship) turns out to be better than the most fantastic fairy tales.

In order to speed things up, a girl, even if she’s used to admiring romantic love stories, should let her boyfriend know that she’s not going to look up to them, dreaming of living her own story.

He says he doesn’t want to rush it, because that’s just the way it is.

If a man boldly and honestly says he doesn’t want to rush, take it as a given. In any case, sincerity is the best bulwark for later strong relationships and even a lifetime spent together.

Do not think that he is not in a hurry, because he is not sure about you or his love, and certainly consider the main reason for the loss of interest and desire to break up soon. It is much more likely that he appreciates every minute spent together with you, and therefore wants to enjoy absolutely every stage of the relationship.

Why a man does not make the first steps towards you and how to help him

Women have a special intuition. With the help of some sixth sense, they know when they like a man. However, with the help of this feeling, which catches the vibes of affection from the atmosphere, it is difficult to explain why a man does not make the first steps towards him, and how to help him in this.

Secrets of Men

In the office, at the disco, or on the beach, you’ve probably often encountered a situation where a young man clearly likes you. He threw secret glances at you, walked right in front of you, raised his voice, as if casually winked at you, nudged you, even smiled.

And in spite of all these signs of attention, he did not make any steps to get acquainted or develop a relationship. You went home in bewilderment and disappointment, probably then dreamed about him for a long time, waited for a meeting and, of course, wondered why the young man never made a move.

There can be many reasons, from the most fantastic to the most prosaic and vulgar. A small list of examples:

  • He really liked you, but did not have the courage to ask you out for dinner or a walk. Maybe you look too cool, rich or self-confident for him. Or he himself is too insecure to make the first move.
  • At the time of the meeting, his stomach hurt, his head hurt, his leg hurt. His thoughts jumped from you to his physical condition, and more important in the end was how he felt.
  • He has another girlfriend. Or maybe he’s just married.
  • He’s sure you’re married, engaged, already dating someone.

One day at one of the festivals, a real drama broke out. A girl purposely came to attract the attention of the young man she liked, to encourage him to develop a relationship. They met, but then her old acquaintance showed up and filled all the time.

The man she was in love with simply retreated from the scene. She, on the other hand, roared with disappointment the entire next night. It took the girl months to convince him that she liked him.

  • A young man tests you, wants to make sure you’re worth his time.
  • He believes in horoscopes or predictions. Someone has told him that he will be best off with a woman older than him or, on the contrary, much younger. And now he, seeing a woman of the same age in front of him, accepts her with interest, but does not want to develop a relationship.

5 reasons why a man does not make the first move

  • Men are used to the fact that the initiative always belongs to women. Such a view of the relationship was formed under the influence of his mother, previous love affairs.
  • He already burned once, and with all the desire to get close to you, does not want to repeat the mistakes.

The list of possible causes can go on and on, and still the situation in which you find yourself will be unique.

How to help a man to make a move

Guessing about the reasons why the young man you like does not take the initiative, and only gives some signs of attention, you can remain an old maid until the end of days or miss the love of his life.

Maybe the man needs help, to push him, to create conditions in which he will dare to make the first step.

If you and the young man have mutual friends, try to scout through them and hint that you wouldn’t mind trying to build a relationship with him.

Friends and girlfriends are usually a treasure trove of necessary and unnecessary information. Carefully asking questions, try to find out if the man has a girlfriend, wife, mistress, than he breathes, what he likes.

Through mutual friends, you can ask for permission to the events at which the young man. Finding out that you fit the type of girls he likes, try to enhance the impression of meeting you with stylish clothes, unusual behavior.

You can inadvertently complain to one of your mutual friends that you like him, but does not respond to your presence. That way he’s sure to know that you’re interested. But the downside of this step is that others will know how you feel, which is rarely nice.

  • Unintentional Encounters

The purpose of this method is to periodically arrange supposedly unintentional meetings. This is easy to pull off if you work in the same company, study together, or live nearby.

In all other cases, it takes a lot of preparation. Just imagine – you need to know what he likes, when he goes to sports, walks the dog, or is in the supermarket. In doing so, arrange so that periodically to get him to meet and be able to intrigue him.

At first, such meetings will be unexpected for the man. By the emotions that will appear on his face, you will be able to guess whether he is pleased you, surprised or confused. After several meetings he will be waiting to cross paths with you again. And then, lo and behold, and ask him out on a date.

  • Open communication

Light flirting, short conversations in the elevator, over lunch, or at parties – ways that face-to-face communication can give you the opportunity to encourage a man to pay more attention to you.

Don’t plan anything in particular, leave the situation to chance and genuinely enjoy meeting a young man. The immediacy of emotion often attracts more attention than carefully planned lines and maxims.

On the other hand, you can play on unintentional encounters. Determine the route a man follows and just “catch up” with him at the right moment. Tell him where you’re going and be genuinely happy that you’re going the same way.

And then intrigue him, hook him, make him enjoy spending time with you.

  • Communicating over the Internet

More and more people are getting frustrated with online communication and love. Too many far-fetched feelings, emotions and passions fill dating. Too many inconsistencies and deceptions in personal communication are discovered later.

Despite this, people continue to look for lovers through the Internet, stand relationships and even plan marriages.

How to use the internet effectively to help a man make the first move:

  • Sign up on the same dating site as him, make your profile bright and attractive. Try to fall into the category of girls that he would be interested in when he searches.

You don’t have to make it so he knows it’s you if you know each other. It’s important to get his attention.

  • Subscribe to his social media profile, get likes, comments. If he’s planning to attend an event, participate in it too, share your impressions.
  • Create a really interesting profile. Like all of his posts. Chances are, he’ll be curious about who’s liking him, he’ll go to your page. Next you need to make sure it really piques his interest.


This method may seem cheeky, bold, but what will not do for love. Ask your man to take you out to lunch, dinner or a tour of his hometown.

Depending on the circumstances, your usual image and his natural behavior in the meeting, you can present yourself as a weak, innocent sheep who needs his guidance. Or act like a strong woman who is used to making decisions.

If you want, talk about your feelings like Tatiana Onegin or hide them until he starts talking about his own.

There are many ways to push a man into a relationship. The most important thing to do when doing this is to spark his interest, make him think about you and want to get you.

( No ratings yet )
Like this post? Please share to your friends:
Leave a Reply