Man-player in a relationship with a woman – the main signs. How to behave with such a
You are crazy about the man you love, but at a subconscious level you feel that you are not good enough for him, so you need to try harder and do as your partner expects. Try to stop and see if you are not in the hands of a hidden manipulator, who by force or affection tries to make you play the role assigned to you in advance.
Signs that you are near a man-player
Man-player in a relationship with a woman using all sorts of tricks seeks to break the will of the victim and subjugate it to themselves. We recommend to pay attention to the following signs to understand in fact, did you become a puppet in the skillful hands of the player and how to behave further.
He literally showered you with compliments.
Girlfriends and colleagues complain that the other half did not say nice words to them and did not celebrate the positive changes in appearance, but in your case it is completely different: a man is relentlessly lavishing compliments. It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this, however, the player uses the female weakness to flattery and praise to get their own way.
He is persistent in his attempts to get you to be intimate.
A covert manipulator does not respect the boundaries of the girl he likes and wants to “get to the body” as soon as possible. In correspondence the player will ask you to send him pictures of your naked body or have virtual sex. He doesn’t care if the woman is ready for a serious stage in the relationship and if he gets a rejection, he will soon disappear from your sight.
You’ve been together for six months and still haven’t met his family
The most hurtful attitude a manipulator can demonstrate is to hide you from his family. Usually parents want to be aware of who their son spends his free time with, but the player is in no hurry to introduce you to his family, because this step is not in his interest.
The relationship between you does not progress beyond sex.
You do not go to the movies together, do not meet with friends, do not go to new bars or restaurants, that is, all the pastime with her lover is reduced to bed only.
This attitude towards you indicates that he does not seek to enter the girl into their social circle, in fact, as a person he little interested in you.
He gives you ironic compliments.
The arsenal of male players harbored compliments, which will always leave after a bad taste and irritation. Unwittingly there is the thought that it would be better to remain silent than to say such a thing out loud. Such an attitude the manipulator explains by the fact that he wants to put a woman in her place, hitting her self-esteem.
He does not consider your opinion.
Man-player in a relationship with a woman is least interested in her individuality and exclusivity, so everything you say goes unheeded.
He is trying to subjugate you
Lack of interest in the opinion and needs of the woman is a consequence of the player trying to build her into his life in a way that is convenient for him. Any attempt to come to a compromise will be perceived in hostility: either loved one obeys him, or separation awaits her.
He speaks in memorized phrases.
Psychology manipulator is arranged so that every situation, he seasoned memorized phrases to negate the conflict or pacify at the time revolted victim.
He does not reveal details of his life
You described your entire life, from your first crush in kindergarten to your last hours before you met him, in great detail, and you heard nothing back. Yes, he was interested in listening to your narrative, because you are his game character, so the information that will allow you to manipulate the girl is worth its weight in gold, but he does not need to open up to his lover.
How to behave with a man-player in a relationship
Fall in love with a man-player is quite easy, because most of the time this kind of people are very charming, interesting and sympathetic. We will not analyze in detail what led to the fact that a man-player in a relationship with a woman seeks to bind her to him and depreciate as a person. We will only say that such behavior is the lot of weak and failed men in life, because full-fledged individuals do not resort to dishonest techniques in love.
Do not try to outplay the manipulator in the case if you do not possess a large stock of equanimity and restraint. Manipulators live only for themselves, so do not waste time and energy on re-educating an adult.
Players are attracted to women who allow themselves to be controlled, so if you are happy with everything in the relationship, then live the life you like. You have the right to choose.
5 signs that a man is a player next to you
What kind of men are called “players”? There are many definitions for the term, but something about them always remains constant and unchanged.
A player is any guy who pretends to care about you, but actually plays on your emotions – usually to get you into bed.
And that’s not even the point – after all, this isn’t the Victorian era, and most modern people see nothing wrong with sex, per se… It’s about something else entirely. It’s about the lies, the mask he puts on to get into your bed, and that rather nasty character hiding under that mask. He shows it with his every action, if you look hard enough.
That’s why we’ll tell you the five main signs of this kind of man – trust us, you’ll need them to recognize them as early as possible, before they can do you any harm.
And yet… why do they do it?
Why do men become players?
The first, and most important, reason is that they tend to be disliked as children.
As a young boy, any boy wants very much to gain his mother’s acceptance and love. Yes, yes, I realize this has long been a cliché in psychology circles… but just because it’s a cliché doesn’t make it any less true. Every child needs their mother’s love, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
And you know what’s wrong with that? If he doesn’t get that love in due time, then he’ll spend most of his life trying in vain to find it.
Yes, yes, if he doesn’t get enough of a mother’s love when he is a child, he will look for it in every woman he meets and eventually it will turn him into another player.
The second reason that turns men into gamblers is that they often never really grow up, being big kids.
So it is possible that the player you met on your life’s path, and simply remained to this age, the same mama’s boy, which was once.
Maybe you just met him when he was still playing, or maybe he will never grow up at all.
Finally, the third reason men become gamblers is that their weak egos need constant nourishment.
If there is one characteristic that stands out more than any other, it is that the player constantly needs a confirmation of his importance and “masculinity” from external sources, and he achieves this by trying to have sex with as many women as possible.
He wants to know that he is worth something, and another notch on the headboard of his own bed makes him feel better, at least briefly.
And some of them just like to prove to the world over and over again that they are perfectly capable of doing what they think they were destined to do – winning women’s hearts.
True, there’s a “but”… they just don’t know how to get to the next stage – this complicated and misunderstood relationship.
So, without delaying long in a box, let’s move on to the first sign that your man may be a player.
He’s literally showering you with compliments.
The first sign that your man may be a player is that you find him too charming and compliments don’t come off his tongue.
He’s quite charismatic – as charismatic as a used car salesman wanting to gain your trust to sell you some junk – and there’s even something of a TV star in him. Something too slick and powdered and fake.
He knows what and when to tell you to tie you down, and it’s very hard for him to resist, especially when he knows exactly how much flattery will be enough to make your head spin and cast all doubt to hell.
So if your man’s words literally ooze honey, you should take a closer look at him.
2. he’s constantly avoiding answering direct questions.
The second sign that your man may be a player is that he’s as slippery as an eel.
Every time you try to catch him at something, he inexplicably twists and turns. He leaves no trace of his dirty deeds. No matter what he does, he manages to get away with it.
You can’t remember him ever letting you pick up his phone (which, moreover, is always locked and password-protected), or even a glimpse of the messages he writes on messengers or social networks. Also, if he’s not around, you never know where he is or who he’s with.
He knows how to slip out of almost any situation, and his excuses and justifications are more often than not almost perfect. So perfect that you want to believe in them, even when you have all the evidence to the contrary.
He is persistent in his attempts to get intimacy from you.
This is one of the main signs that you are a player-playboy.
Man-playboys are constantly pressuring you, trying by right or wrong to get into your bed. Sometimes it seems like it’s the only thing they’re thinking about at all.
If he’s smart, he’ll do everything he can to portray an all-consuming passion – so hot that it’s quite possible his behavior will awaken a reciprocal desire in you as well.
Let’s be honest with ourselves – when a guy looks literally obsessed with passion, and fervently talks about it, it really turns you on. What girl doesn’t like it when a man tells her that he wants to possess her, and only her?
He will seem so infatuated with you, and will want you so blatantly sexually, that you may well give in to him… and you will probably have a very good time together until you realize that sex is all you will ever get from him.
In time, you will begin to realize that his passion, however hot, is significantly different from the passion of someone really in love with you. Yes, he wants you, and badly, but not because he wants to live his whole life with you, or, say, because he’s interested in your inner world – he just wants to get into your panties.
Or maybe he just try to coerce you into sex, and before that drink a lot – well, not to work too hard and not particularly spend money, depicting the incredible passion. Believe me, he will do everything possible to make your decisions as impulsive and dictated only by the current moment.
4. You’ve been together for six months and still haven’t met his family.
A fourth sign that your man is a player is that despite the fact that you have been dating for six months, he is not at all eager to introduce you to his parents, let alone other relatives.
If you’ve been dating this guy for six months and you haven’t met his mother, even though she’s alive and doesn’t live on the other side of the world, something is wrong.
And, after all, even if she does live on the other side of the world, can’t you at least contact her on Skype so you can see each other?
What distinguishes a player is that he doesn’t want to introduce you to his relatives. If only because he is not going to develop a relationship with you.
As a good friend once told me, mothers’ patience is not infinite, and they eventually get tired of dating an endless stream of their son’s girlfriends.
So he’ll keep you away from his parents in the hope that you won’t start pressuring him for immediate dating.
…And if you push too hard, he’ll just evaporate like dew in the morning.
5. The relationship between you doesn’t progress beyond sex.
Yes, he can be a fantastic lover, and you can be insanely good in bed, but you can mistake physical intimacy and desire for love.
Passion is often perceived by women as true love. A strong physical attraction to a man causes a woman to think that this man is probably the one, the only one in a million, and they were meant for each other by fate… and the man thereby writes off everything to hormones, and does not think that a couple or three hot nights obligates him to do something. Even, frankly, monogamy.
This is very important. Most men pretty much separate sexual intimacy from really deep emotional intimacy, and that creates a lot of problems for women.
They feel like there’s love between them that can develop into a real relationship, when in fact it’s nothing more than a passion that leads nowhere.
We have talked so much about players that you may think they are all around you, but in fact-and this may come as a shock to you-players make up only a small percentage of all men. Most men are simply incapable of being players, because it goes against their nature and their beliefs.
But if there are far fewer gamblers than normal guys, why is the likelihood of meeting them in your life so high? Because in the relaxed atmosphere of a bar or nightclub, a player is much more likely to have the courage to come up to you and try to strike up a conversation.
But what about the really kind, nice and good guys? Why do they stand on the sidelines? Well, you see, the thing is…they’re afraid.
Yes, yes, they tend to be a little afraid of what you’ll say no to them, and they’re often a little shy, too.
And because gamblers are much more likely to initiate conversations with girls, you meet them much more often than other types of men.
And, of course, the relationship problems are not always the fault of the men alone. If the men you’re in a relationship with repeatedly refuse to work on developing them-even when you’re choosing your own potential partners-you should take a closer look at the men you choose, and whether the criteria you use to do so are reasonable.
In addition, sometimes you can yourself, with your own hands destroy your relationships. Because of the negative information you have received about men, say from your own mother, or because of too strong a belief in stereotypes about men, you can alienate your partner, resulting in him becoming cold and aloof. Sometimes this makes a man look like a player to you, when in fact he is not.
That is why you may find very useful the signs collected in this article, because they will help you to understand what exactly your potential partner needs from you.