10 reasons not to call him first
For men, our assertiveness in establishing and strengthening relationships is extremely beneficial. But for you, it’s not. You do not believe? Well, you should. We collected 10 reasons why a man does not call and do not write, and as much evidence that call him first do not.
Such leap of faith from me I did not expect! Fall in love with a casual acquaintance before losing sleep and appetite – it is an effort. I tried my best, and now all I could think about was him, the man with the cool dimpled chin I’d met at the picnic the week before. I was sure that I made an indelible impression on the cool-bearded man, he did not move a step away from me, laughed when I slightly opened my mouth, we danced tango, kissed in the bushes, exchanged phones and fond glances goodbye, and generally it was in the hat, but he did not call me, and I was forced to puzzle, why a man did not call me.
I was ready to smash myself to the ground with a strangled passion, but I forbade myself to even think about the numbers of his phone number. And I pinched my hand if it reached out to like his picture on VKontakte. Two days later, things took a turn for the worse. I made a detailed wedding menu for ninety people and roared nonstop over it. A day later the poems came out. Natasha agreed to be a maid of honor. And I learned to sign his last name beautifully. But the scoundrel Cool Beard still showed no signs of life. Although sometimes he was online on social networks. I was gradually losing my human face, but stood my ground. Practical Mashka said: “Call me yourself, what’s in it for you? Olya – Miss Compromise – suggested I write a message. But I knew for sure that I should not call the first man! Because.
Men don’t call us for one of ten reasons
He did not like you.
Anton, 26: “I met Oksana in a club. And I did not even count on such a quick victory – the girl was a real beauty. But we left the club together.
In bed a beautiful girl. I do not know if she really felt so good, or she was trying to make a good impression, but her screams were unbearable. I had to stop and ask her to be quiet every ten seconds. I was happy when she went home. No way am I calling her back! It’s simple: a guy doesn’t call if he doesn’t want to continue the relationship.”
Paul, 26: “If a man doesn’t call or write for an extended period of time, he either doesn’t want to or can’t. There are no other reasons. Girls, leave the illusions! We can’t have a phone that has been dead for three days, we can’t lose it or accidentally erase your number! If I like a girl, I will find a way to reach her”.
It’s hard to think of a more thankless role than that of a rejected applicant. Imagine – the stars aligned. You’re not his type. Man does not call for a day, two, a week. He forgot about you, well, except that “if only this did not call long (short, fat, stupid, painfully clever, etc.). And then – zap, a phone call from you! That he will be glad!
He liked you too much.
Igor, 24: “Dasha blew me away. Her face, figure, laughter – everything I dreamed of. And a very easy character. It seemed to me that I knew her for a hundred years. We met at a concert at the Cosmonaut and went for a walk. But I didn’t call her. I didn’t want to look like an idiot in love. She might have thought that I could be played any way she wanted. Or that I’d never seen a woman before, to go at her like that. I was going to call her a week later, but I figured she wouldn’t remember me. Yes, sometimes a man does not call first for such a strange reason. It’s been a month, I think about Dasha all the time. I hope for a chance meeting.”
You already know about the fact that men’s logic is not inferior to women’s in terms of originality? You should call a man yourself, and he’ll easily interpret your call as “she’s testing the power of her influence over me.” And he won’t answer.
Nastya Slanevskaya became a star by accident. In 2002, the girl was spotted at karaoke by director Sergei Kalvarsky. That’s how Anastasia turned into the singer Slava. At 17, Anastasia Slanevskaya became pregnant. The father of Alexandra’s daughter, Konstantin Morozov, was in business, but he and Slava had different views on life. Shortly after Sasha’s birth in 1999 the couple broke up, but Slava did her best to make sure her child didn’t need anything. Now Anastasia already has two children: the elder Alexandra and the younger Antonina, who was born in 2011 to businessman Anatoly Danilitsky. Young Sasha already has a serious relationship, but Slava is not afraid that her daughter will repeat her fate. The singer is sure that she will be a great grandmother.
She sells herself too much.
Renat, 31: “The more competitors a woman has, the more likely it is that she will want to fight with them. My friend and I have an arrangement – when one of us goes on a date, the other calls him several times. And the one on the date pretends to have a conversation with the annoying girlfriend. The tactic works like clockwork!
And after the date, the man doesn’t call, lest the thought that she might lose such a valuable frame give the girl no peace.”
Sometimes the answer to why a man doesn’t call turns out to be this nasty manipulation. Stupid tactic! Such a prize is not even needed. After all, he’ll be inviting more and more female athletes to compete. If you call back to this speculator, it would mean that his scam to inflate the price was a success. But you can’t call your transaction a success!
He has a girlfriend
Sergey, 27: “I really love my girlfriend Masha. But recently at the X’s at my friend’s bachelor party, we crossed paths with Mila. Sultry brunette Mila looked like an erotic dream of any man. I agree that I’m an animal and a moral freak, but I slept with Mila that same night. Right in my car. Immediately after this process I began to feel a cruel sense of guilt. I dropped Mila off at home, covered my tracks and tried to forget about the stupid episode. But Mila found my phone through a mutual friend and bombarded me with fond text messages, saying that she had been waiting for me all my life! I have the impression that the fact that the young man doesn’t call or write only encourages Mila. I’m really afraid that Masha will find out. Maybe I should change my number?”
Again: if a man does not call, it means he does not want to. Or can’t, which in this case is the same thing. Guys who disappear the morning after sex are much more common than we’d like. Manage to fall in love with a sensation hunter and fighter against the family routine? Manage to get a grip on yourself! Self-self, not the phone.
Afraid he didn’t like me
Ilya, 23: “We met these girls on the street. I immediately fell for Ira. She seemed to smile at me. But she seemed to look at my friend more often. We had a nice evening, we sat in a restaurant and exchanged phone numbers with Ira. But I didn’t call her. I didn’t feel much interest on her part. In fact, a man calls a woman when he is sure that his call will be welcome, but if not. I personally prefer not to take the risk. Although a friend who started dating a girlfriend of Ira, passed on that she asked about me. I’ll wait for the right opportunity – a holiday or a trip together, to make sure that I am really interested in her!”
In general, a normal man is characterized by an unshakable confidence in his own irresistibility. And someone who doubts himself so much, can easily give you a funny life. Is it worth it to call such an insecure man? Only if you want to coddle him until your old age, convincing him how good he is!
Keeps a face.
Dima, 30: “As long as you act calm and disinterested with her, everything is fine, the situation is under control. And the girl acts like a human being! But as soon as you show that she means something to you, immediately begins whimsy, control, showing off. This is one of the reasons why a man stops calling – and not the rarest.
Tough, no-need-of-calf tenderness macho partners are not for the faint of heart. But this macho material is what eventually makes the most harmless of wannabes. True, in the beginning you have to play along and not bother him unnecessarily. In general, you understand what the answer to the question of whether to call a man who wants to demonstrate his invulnerability.
Nikita, 27: “Even if I get to know Miss World, she will have to accept the fact that my life is completely packed with emotions. Sports, studies, rehearsals, work. Sometimes a guy doesn’t call because he’s really busy, that’s not an excuse. A time for business, an hour for sex! After a date, it takes me two days to figure out where to fit the next one in. That’s the minimum. I never rush with the calls and other communications.
Boys and girls’ bodies need different amounts of romance. We give ourselves over to love without reserve, and they cynically set aside time for it. Still, that’s a better reason than many others: Maybe if a man doesn’t call or write, he just hasn’t made time for it yet. We can only hope that there’s a window in his schedule for you sooner than six months from now.
Why a man doesn’t call
Why doesn’t a man call? How many young ladies and mature girls suffer from insomnia during the long summer nights, trying to find an answer. Why is it so? Magic acquaintance, long-awaited meeting, an unforgettable rendezvous, a kiss under the porch, admiring glances of the chosen one and a promise to call, but a day passes, and the phone is silent. What happened? There may be thousands of reasons for this. But the most likely one – the sons of Adam do not call the beautiful feminine because there is no desire. No need to try to find faults in his own person. Yes, she did not hook the guy enough, because of this unsuccessful suitor and did not call back. There is no need to suffer and make a tragedy of the lack of news. It is impossible to be liked by absolutely all male individuals. It’s enough to remember how many inept admirers she herself refused.
Why a Man Doesn’t Call – A Man’s View
Virtually every young lady is familiar with the torment of not hearing from the guy who fell in love with her and the pointless expectation of hearing from him. Unfulfilled “dreams” cause disappointment, create resentment and frustration. Girls begin to think up a lot of excuses for the behavior of the chosen one. Often, their contrived excuses for the absence of a call quite ridiculous. However, everything is simpler than it seems.
It is necessary to recognize the truth of the fact that the views of the sons of Adam and the beautiful feminine to similar events strikingly different. If the gentleman you liked did not call you back, then you should not look for excuses. The probability of finding the chosen one is only 1%, the missing phone – 1%, the wrong “scored” number – 2%, the unwillingness to bother to communicate with his person with a new-found acquaintance – 86%. If a man is not indifferent to the beauty, he will definitely find an opportunity and take a moment to call her. The remaining 10% – are other, so to speak, valid reasons. There are ten of them. A percentage of probability for each reason.
So, option one, why the man does not call first. The stronger sex simply does not give value to such useless occupation as aimless conversations on the phone. Talking for hours is a woman’s prerogative. Man dial a number she liked the young lady, when ripe for an invitation to rendezvous or when he decides to tell something important. Although, here we should clarify that the gentleman in love, more often than not, will cut the phone lines.
Option two – not much time has passed, so the guy did not have time to get bored.
In addition, not all of Adam’s sons are assertive and confident, there are guys who are afraid to be intrusive, afraid that they do not like a girl, afraid to be misunderstood. And that is why they do not call.
Often the reason for the lack of messages lies in financial difficulties, preventing a man to invite the lady he likes for a date. However, when the financial problems will be left behind, he will most likely remind about his own person, unless of course in his soul another young charming woman falls in.
Also, there are force majeure reasons that do not depend on the guy, such as illness, urgent business trip, the load in the professional sphere. When the situation evens out a little, the man will call the young lady.
Often the male sex often doubts that he inspired a reciprocal sympathy in the lady, so there will not be a lot of suitors. These gentlemen have no idea that it is necessary to win the woman they like. It is easier for them to believe that to make an impression failed, and therefore there is no point in continuing the communication, than to summon up the courage to invite a charming young lady to the rendezvous.
Also, the possibility that the new acquaintance is already in an affair should not be rejected. He met a pretty girl under the influence of the moment, mood, friends pushed, but later, reasoned sensibly, the guy came to the conclusion that it is better to explore an old relationship, rather than the unknown. Men are pretty lazy and big conservatives. For the male sex to dare to end the old relationship for the sake of a relationship with a new acquaintance, there must be either a mad passion, which clouds the mind, or an arrow of Cupid, which hits right in the heart.
Option eight – the guy decided to use an NLP technique called “further and closer. On the date, he enveloped the girl in warmth and affection. This is the “closer” stage. Then the young man practices the “farther away” stage, that is, he pulls away, takes a pause, does not phone. He wants the young lady to get bored, which would move her to make the first step on her own. These guys are professional manipulators.
The guy does not give news, because simply do not know what to talk about with a new acquaintance, he is not a fan of telephone conversations, when he sets a clear plan of action in relation to the beauty, then he dials her number and invites her to rendezvous.
During the acquaintance, the suitor wrote down her phone number on a piece of paper, a used trolleybus ticket, a money bill and lost the cherished digits. This also happens.
However, it should be remembered that the likelihood of each of the above problems preventing a man from calling is only one chance in a hundred. Basically, the strong half does not call back when the girl is not strongly attracted. So, rather than aimlessly tormented by the question why a man does not call first, it is better to devote your free time to self-development, your appearance, self-realization, shopping, meeting with friends, family, sports, walks. There are thousands of options to spend a fun and interesting, as well as useful, time. Against the backdrop of a pleasant and productive leisure time, the absence of a call from a young man you don’t know is a trifle.
Why a man does not call first, but always answer?
It’s so elementary to take the phone and by simple manipulation dial a number in order to hear a native or not so native voice. Then why do men say “call” instead of calling themselves? Why do some men almost instantly answer the phone, but never call first, so as not to disturb the peace of the girl? Does it really matter who first dials the ill-fated digits of the phone number! When a young lady missed talking to her girlfriend, she did not hesitate to dial her number. So why, when it comes to the opposite sex, women are torn by doubts? All this is because this particular gentleman is a stranger to the girl. Their relationship is still at the stage of acquaintance or the first meetings. After all, the wife never doubts whether to call her husband today first or wait until he remembers that his wife is waiting for news from him. The exception is the situation of a temporary confrontation that arose, for example, on the occasion of the disappearance of a pair of socks after the laundry. Here married ladies are tormented by questions of a slightly different kind: why the man does not call first after a quarrel.
So, why are beautiful females hesitant to take the first step? First of all, because to this day it is considered wrong to call the first masculine half. Most ladies, brought up on heroic novels, are used to expect initiative from men. However, it should not be overlooked that the age of chivalrous valor is long gone. Modern cavaliers are rather inert and expect initiative from girls. This is because the supply exceeds the demand. After all, many young pretty girls have forgotten all about dignity. Girls today are readily available and rather obtrusive. If one doesn’t call, the others will. So there is no point in men getting worked up. However, if a girl really hooked him, like a real, he will always find an opportunity and allocate time for a telephone chitchat with his date. A girl who has conquered the heart of a guy will not hear from him the phrase: “well, if anything, call. This is the explanation why men say “call”?
Also there is a separate category of males, which includes males who prefer to answer the phone, and not to give news first. This can be a character trait, an established habit or a kind of zest.
No matter what the reason was that moved the interested young individual not to make an attempt to communicate. It is important to behave with dignity. You need to love your own personality and do not allow the so-called males to play with their feelings.
Why has the man stopped calling and writing?
After several meetings with the guy, the girl has already colorfully presented the wedding dress, picked up makeup, made a list of guests, and he disappeared. How so? On the background of apparent prosperity, the “soulmate” suddenly stopped calling and writing. What to do? There would have been a conflict, and then the explanation why a man does not call first after a quarrel, do not look for it.
And if the relationship is good, then why did he take a position of silence? Maybe he fell off the balcony, saving a kitten, or burned in a fire, pulling out of a burning building grandmother? What happened is unknown to the girl. But it didn’t matter. A woman’s time is too valuable to waste on finding excuses for her macho failures. Finding excuses for men’s behavior is time wasted.
Therefore, if the suitor does not give news for some time, you need to forget it, first of all, stop thinking about this man. Waiting for a man’s attention is a fairly common type of female self-torture.
It was written above that a frequent reason for the silence of the opposite sex is their unwillingness to communicate. But there are exceptions. In order to understand why he stopped calling, you need to realize what kind of person he is. After all, every man has an individual set of traits, preferences, as well as his own assessment of being and the role of the daughters of Eva in it. Even harder to sort out if the chosen one is a strong, self-sufficient and self-actualized person.
In addition to a set of characteristics, it is also necessary to analyze his behavioral patterns in interaction with the lady, the stage of development of the relationship, the degree of his interest before the “vow of silence”, the number of calls from him per day.
If a woman is faced with a strong personality, with a man going straight to his goal, it is likely that the “silent cavalier” is a well thought-out strategy, the end result of which should be the conquest of a woman’s heart.
The reasons for “no calls” may be different, but they lead to uncertainty, to a suspended state of a young lady. Women seem to go into a “waiting mode”, in which they are no longer interested in what is happening. In this mode, a fantasy runs wild, drawing all kinds of situations that justify the behavior of the chosen one. In addition, the more often the young lady thinks about the suitor, waiting for him, the sharper her heart is pierced by Cupid’s arrow. The woman falls in love, and her head is “lost”. The consequence is a dissolution into a man and a falling into dependence. Where there is addiction, there is no room for love, and consequently a healthy relationship is impossible.
In order to avoid such a sad fate, it is strictly forbidden to appear in the life of the chosen one. That is, you can not text, call, “like” posts. A man needs some space in order to understand whether he needs this particular young lady or not. If he makes up his mind, he will call or not call.
Need to realize that his own intrusive behavior may force a man to meet a couple of times, do intimacy, but will not move him to create a strong relationship. Demonstration overly emotional reaction to the disappearance of a man, only gives the latter to understand that the woman is conquered and subjugated. Constant such reactions lead to predictability. The consequence is a loss of male interest in this young lady. After all, she is manageable, simple, submissive, and insubstantial. And the stronger half is looking for mystery, rebelliousness, mystery in their chosen one. They need barriers on the way to winning a girl’s heart. Coldness will cause more interest than willingness to do anything. However, showing outer restraint and disinterestedness to a man, the main thing is not to go overboard. A rare representative of the sons of Adam will be to the winning end of the lady, not reciprocating.
Men, of course, are hunters by nature, but today, due to the influence of feminism, their hunting instinct has somewhat faded. Therefore, there is no need to flirt with playing an impregnable fortress. The strength of the beautiful half of the balance between external detachment and passion, as well as the timeliness of replacing coldness with ardor. At the same time, you should not reveal all their secrets. For the sons of Adam, the beautiful daughters of Eve must remain somewhat inscrutable. Only by periodically challenging the stronger half, women will be able to keep the fire of love in men’s hearts, as well as to remain to their partners weak creatures in need of protection.
Author : Practical psychologist Vedmesh N.A.
Speaker of the Medical-Psychological Center “PsychoMed”.