Reasons why a girl does not want a relationship
Family psychologist. For 8 years I save the “family unit” from disintegration. Helping couples to regain love and understanding.
It seems to start out so well, and suddenly the girl declares that she is not ready for a serious relationship, does not want to and can not. You begin to puzzle over why the girl does not want a relationship? Actually, there is only one answer to this.
- 1 Reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship
- 3 Mistakes you can make if you want a relationship, but it’s not working
Reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship
But first let’s look at the reasons why girls objectively do not want to develop a relationship.
- The first is childhood problems.
Yes, what was given in childhood, we carry into the world. If there was not a good relationship between mom and dad, she does not want to repeat this scenario, and she does not know how else to do it.
There is an opportunity here to help. Gently and gently show that you can communicate in a different way, not hurting each other, but respecting and loving. It will take a long time, but it may work.
- The second – separation.
Not in time. Just experienced the collapse of his hopes, she is still in pain, and here you are with your feelings. She can’t physically respond in the same way, she’s burned out, there’s nothing to respond to. If you want, wait, help her deal with the pain. She’ll appreciate it. But it’s dangerous for the relationship, because she may put you down as a loyal friend and not think of you as a possible partner.
- The third is a mismatch of goals.
This is not so rare these days. Girls have gone decisive, active. For them, a career or business to build more important than a relationship. You can wait until she changes her mind, or help. But this is also a friendly relationship. There’s a good chance they won’t develop into something serious.
- Fourth, a mismatch in values.
There are times when people are so different that both seem to consist of the same corners and are constantly being hurt by them. Different social environment, attitudes, morals, religion. And then there is the fact that the girl believes in horoscopes. If it says that you do not match, then you will not communicate. It is better not to waste time.
It’s not a good thing, but people don’t stop doing it. And you don’t even have to give the girls a reason, they will think it up themselves.
That’s when you have to take matters into your own hands. Find out by all means, what is the offense, and sort everything out. Well, and if guilty, then ask for forgiveness. And do not be like the fools who think that the word “sorry” is worth so much, that if you say it, it is time to wear in the arms. The best “sorry” – a bouquet of flowers, a gift, a romantic surprise. Not necessarily expensive, as long as it has soul. For example, a painted balloon in her window. A woman’s soul is soft, rebounding. And if not, think, do you need dried bread, in common parlance – rusks?
- The main reason is you.
There it is, the truest answer! All the previous ones may be too, but this one is the one.
If it happens that she did not want to communicate with you, to break your head, what to do to get her back – the last thing. To the question “why a girl does not want a relationship,” the only answer – she did not like you. And it’s great!
Yes, I know you want to wag your finger right now. Don’t hold back. But it’s not going to change anything. If the girl you like turns you down, that’s a sign. It’s the best sign imaginable. And it says one thing – it’s time to change. And when that happens, do not forget to say thank you to the girl who did not start a relationship with you. Be ready for her to want you back, but don’t give in. She’s your past to be thankful for. And you’ve already moved on, and there are very different girls waiting for you.
What do you do to change?
The tips are unoriginal, but the best:
Go to the gym or exercise every day;
- To pump up confidence, willpower and other qualities that girls like, take part in training. Even the free ones have good advice. And check their quality empirically – take it and do it, and see if something works or not. Just remember, nothing ever comes out the first time. Use practice for at least two weeks. There’s one commandment – don’t look for excuses, look for opportunities;
- Find something you like to do. If you really like it, you’ll be good at it, and that always helps you make money. And they are a magnet for girls, and an indicator of your confidence.
Girls like confident guys – it’s an axiom. And it hasn’t changed in a century. So go ahead and remember, my friend, nothing is impossible.
Mistakes you can make if you want a relationship, but it does not work
Under no circumstances should you:
- Stalk, text, ask to meet;
- Talk about your feelings, especially at the beginning;
- impose, strive to be near her;
- put pressure on her;
- Do not touch her. It’s about innocent touches – taking her hand, supporting her on the steps, putting your arm around her, guiding her. Tactile sensations are an important component, their absence makes the relationship dull;
- Not taking her interests into account. That way you can push her away, but not attract her;
- Do not help. Girls subconsciously always wait for help. Without waiting, they lose interest;
- Take wishful thinking for reality. If a girl thanks you for gifts and goes to the movies with you, she may treat you as a friend. If you see it in a rosy light – here, they say, I’m already winning her over, and she soon leaves, then you can only resent yourself.
If you do any of the things on the list, be sure that you are already seen at the level of skirting. Do you need that? Dignity inspires respect, and that alone is attractive.
Yes, there may be times when there are objective reasons why a girl doesn’t want a relationship. But more often than not, the reason is you. There’s no point in worrying and moping. Make conclusions and move on. If you will be an interesting man, you are sure to have a girl worthy of you.
A girl doesn’t want a relationship? What to do about it? (Spoiler: it’s not a sentence.)
If a girl doesn’t want a relationship, but she communicates with you, then you have a chance. Or do you? That’s what we’re going to talk about.
You’re ready to start dating her and she doesn’t want to yet. In this case, and a firm “no” to your chosen one also does not say. The situation is not pleasant, but not unreliable.
How to behave, and whether the game is worth the candle? To understand women is not always easy, but we will try.
1 Why does the girl says she does not want a relationship?
First, let’s figure out what the reason is. She may have:
Recently broke up with a guy;
Afraid that a new romance will end as unsuccessfully as the previous one;
Has decided to concentrate on her studies/work, and a relationship, in her opinion, will only interfere with that;
Not interested in relationships with men.
The good news is that none of these reasons (except for the last one) is a 100% guarantee that you can’t have a “happily ever after” with her. Because there’s always a chance that she’ll change her mind.
2 How do you know you’re not getting anywhere?
Another option: the girl is ready for a romantic relationship, but not with you. When will trying to build a serious relationship with her be a waste of time? Focus on one of the following signs:
She refuses to meet you time after time;
or she occasionally needs something from you (a ride, pick up, borrow, help).
If any of these things are about you and her, it sounds like the girl is either avoiding you or considers you a good friend to rely on, but, in both cases, doesn’t want intimacy. Either way, if you’re not ready to be friends with her, you should stop communicating and look for someone who will reciprocate the sympathy. You’re cool, do not even doubt that such will be found.
3 Why does the girl not want to date, but communicate with you?
If you keep active correspondence with her, go out, go to the movies and generally you are good together. “She likes me, but she’s not ready to consider me her boyfriend” – if your question sounds like this, then perhaps the girl:
hasn’t known you long enough (everyone has their own pace of bonding);
Thinks that your intentions towards her are not serious;
Sees a flaw in you that she strongly dislikes (bad habits, lack of work, signs of possessiveness and jealousy or something else);
Has sympathy for someone else, and you are a friend with whom she just feels very good.
Each of these reasons shows that the girl is hesitating – she’s interested in you, but not yet enough to fall into your arms without thinking. And if you want to try to win her heart, go to the next point.
4 Going from friendzone to relationship: myth or reality?
There are sad legends about guys who spend forever in a friendzone, hoping for more and end up getting invited to a wedding as a guest. But there are plenty of stories about how a friend turns into a boyfriend one day, too.
We can’t say for sure which scenario your relationship will follow. But we can give you some tips on how to increase your chances of the outcome you’re interested in.
5 How to get a girl who doesn’t want a relationship: step-by-step instructions
If a member of the fair sex is happy to communicate with you, it’s a very good sign: she’s interested in you. Show that you also care about her: show interest in events in her life and hobbies. She will appreciate it, and sooner or later she will start to warm up to you. And then she may change her mind.
Try to win her over.
Friendzone isn’t for you? Then don’t act like a friend and openly confess your feelings. Also, start courting her. Pay her compliments, give her signs of attention, do romantic things. Yes, modern ladies want equality, but this does not mean that the initiative on the part of men are not interested.
Change your tactics
Your sincere impulses smashed against the wall of indifference? Turn on the “Pushkin mode. The one in which “the less a woman likes us, the more she likes us. When someone gets used to constant attention, a sudden chill will at least hurt them. At most, it works as a catalyst that makes this person want to not just return “everything to the way it was,” but to move to the next level of the relationship.
6 The Rule of Four “Nos”
No matter how smart and helpful our advice is, it doesn’t guarantee that a girl will agree to go out with you. But there are four almost 100 percent ways (harmful, of course) to bury the possibility of a relationship:
You want to call her yours right now, and preferably immediately take her to your “tea”? Declaring it “from the doorstep” you can, of course, to get a positive response and win the heart, but still, most of this behavior discourages.
Blackmail is a dirty tactic, especially in a romantic relationship. You’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you’re tired of waiting and want specifics? Then directly ask her how she feels about you and if you have a chance to be her boyfriend. But using “either/or” language is low and is almost guaranteed to lead to choosing an option you don’t like.
Going on an open attack.
When we talked about “conquering,” we hope: you knew right away that we did NOT mean it. tactile action.
Yes, you can try kissing her unexpectedly, hoping that something will flare up between you. But be warned: this tactic is very risky – do it too soon or fail, and you might not get another shot.
Play on jealousy
Some “experts” advise to defiantly pay attention to the other girls, thereby causing a “sense of ownership” of the person you are interested in. We do not agree with them: so you are more likely to cause doubts about the seriousness of their intentions towards her.
And remember, you may not attract a girl sexually for no reason at all. You can be attractive, interesting, smart, cool, but she doesn’t have that “chemistry” with you. You don’t have to blame yourself or the girl.
And the main thing: the friendship between a man and a woman, contrary to the well-known stereotype, exists. So if it did not work out to be lovers, but you are good and interesting together – perhaps you should not break this magical connection?