Soft skills: 10 books to develop empathy and communication skills
Today, specialists with developed “flexible skills” or soft skills are particularly successful. Together with “LitRes” RBC Trends selected books that will teach you to be empathic and find common ground with anyone
Using a special promo code RBC25 on the service’s website, all readers will receive a book as a gift from a special selection, as well as a 25% discount on almost the entire assortment.
“The Empathy Effect. 7 Keys to Supernatural Insight,” by Helen Riss
Empathy is almost like a sixth sense or even a mind reading, claims Harvard Medical School psychiatry professor Helen Riess. In her book, she offers seven keys to help you approach any person. Riss also shows how to read emotionally and how to use gestures, facial expressions, and voices skilfully. In addition to scientific research, the book has found room for non-boring experiments and life stories.
“The Power of Kindness. How to change the world for the better with empathy, Jamil Zaki
Neuropsychologist Jamil Zaki devoted more than a decade to the study of empathy and came to the conclusion that this skill can develop anyone. Many people associate the manifestation of kindness with weakness, but the author seeks to refute this assumption. He believes that in five years–and even as early as a year–the world can become meaner or kinder, and it is up to us whether the social fabric is torn or restored. Showing concern and consideration for those who have treated us unfairly is difficult and illogical. But by succumbing to aggression and anger, we will only make things worse for ourselves. In the book, Zaki analyzes the stories of neo-Nazis, the education system, police-civilian interactions, the field of nursing, and even the possibilities of digital technology.
“Living in the World. The Art of Communication and Interaction,” by Titus Nhat Han
Vietnamese monk Tit Nhat Han has written more than 100 books on Buddhism, meditation, and mindfulness. One of them is Living in Peace. In it, the author says that people should be more mindful of everything they receive. According to Titus Nath Khan, communication can be as healthy and beneficial as food. So why not keep an eye on the quality of the dialogue? It’s important to notice who you’re interacting with and how you’re interacting, what communication feels toxic and what feels like a resource. Your inner state and opportunities for growth and development depend on the answers to these questions. The practices in the book will help you hear yourself and build harmonious relationships with those around you.
“Jedi Techniques of Constructive Communication,” Alexander Orlov
Business coach and co-founder of the Stratoplan School of Managers Alexander Orlov has compiled a selection of useful communication tools that he uses himself. In the book he shared algorithms that help to solve problems with clients, bosses and any interlocutors. The author ironically and accessibly explains what habits prevent us to talk normally and spoil relationships with others. After reading the book, you will learn how to master the principles of constructive communication, and learn to get out of conflict situations.
“Snakes in Suits. How to recognize toxic colleagues in time and not to suffer from their destructive actions,” Robert Haer, Pavel Babiak
At work, we have almost no influence over what kind of environment we have. So sometimes we are forced to work for years with aggressive or manipulative co-workers, supervisors and clients. How to deal with this situation, you will learn from the book “Snakes in Suits…” Its authors are specialists in corporate and criminal psychology. Combining their professional skills, they have produced a unique guide to effective and safe interaction with office predators. Recognize the destructive behavior of coworkers and find your own ways to protect yourself will help you with this handbook.
“Hear and Understand,” Michael Sorensen
If you learn to listen to your interlocutor, you can improve all areas of your life. That’s the simple advice behind marketer Michael Sorensen’s book. As a tireless researcher and a fan of self-development, he spent several years talking to coaches, psychologists, executives and as a result decided to share his findings with the whole world. In his book, the author talks in an accessible way about the basic need for acceptance and how validation–the skill of acknowledging your interlocutor’s emotions–can help improve relationships. The reader will learn what role empathy and emotional understanding play, understand how validation differs from reflective listening, and learn step-by-step validation techniques.
“The Psychology of Consent,” Robert Cialdini
It’s hard to imagine a situation in which a client is willing to pay the highest possible price before even negotiating with a manager. But psychologist Robert Cialdini assures – this is not a marketing ploy, but reality. He penetrated the sales departments of large corporations for many years as a secret agent and concluded that some specialists intuitively use tricks that help them achieve results before they start persuading, for example, they get the agreement of their boss to increase their salary immediately after they enter his office. Chaldini describes the techniques used by such professionals in more detail in his new manual.
“Being Human. Skills Only Humans Have, Not Artificial Intelligence, and How Not to Lose Your Job Soon,” by Debra Stevens
What will you do when a robot takes your job? That’s the question practicing coach Debra Stevens poses to her readers. Automation and artificial intelligence are already being implemented in various industries and do the chores for people. But this book is not written to intimidate and dire warnings, it encourages you to think about career prospects and sets you up for self-development. The author suggests improving only those skills and abilities that no one but humans possess: the ability to empathize, to love, to be a friend, to listen. Debra believes that human qualities will never lose their value, while she views robotization on the positive side.
“Emotional Triggers. How to understand what upsets, angers or scares you, and turn a reaction into a resource,” David Ritchie
Everyone has painful topics, which means that at some point each of us risks losing his or her temper. Any unresolved problem and unprocessed trauma responds with a lightning reaction to a trigger, which means “trigger” in English. Psychotherapist David Richo not only describes in detail what triggers are and why they occur, but also shares tools to help combat them. You’ll learn how to reduce the sensitivity of unhealed wounds, learn how to keep from doing rash things, and how to turn your weaknesses into strengths.
“The Science of Communication, Vanessa Van Edwards
Training presenter Vanessa van Edwards’ book will help even true introverts overcome communication difficulties. It lists many simple and easy to understand tips needed to start a conversation, pay attention, read the emotions of the interlocutor and better understand the people around them. Thanks to these tools and behavioral tricks, you can establish a relationship with a loved one, advance your career and simply improve your quality of life.
Top 35 Best Books on Negotiation and Communication
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Whether in the office or at home, everywhere you need to communicate with your colleagues, bosses, business partners, spouse and children. We communicate all our lives, but few places teach us how to build a dialogue in a meaningful way. In this list you will find a selection of books on the art of negotiation and communication that will help you master this difficult and extremely important art.
1. “Negotiation. The Complete Course” by Gavin Kennedy
The author provides a critical analysis of the most popular negotiation practices and offers the most effective of them. This publication tells how to prepare for an upcoming meeting, present your point of view favorably, negotiate and make the negotiation process mutually beneficial for all parties involved. Buy the book!
2. “You can agree on everything! How to get the most out of any negotiation” Gavin Kennedy
This publication focuses on the components of the negotiation process, strategic approaches and tactical techniques. Kennedy tells of the psychological traps and mistakes in the setting of priorities, gives examples of catastrophic miscalculations and situations that can still be corrected. Buy the book!
3. “Negotiating Trump Style. Winning Any Deal” by George Ross
In his book, the author describes the behind-the-scenes work that accompanies Donald Trump and other world-renowned real estate dealmakers. The publication is a compendium of rules, principles, ready-made solutions and tips applicable to all types of business communication. Buy the book!
4. “Business negotiations: a winning strategy” by Marina Gudz
The book helps to create a successful strategy and tactics for effective interpersonal communication and business negotiations, as well as getting skills to make contact with your opponent plus establish the motives of the negotiating partner. Also in his publication the author offers a methodology of how to form the skills of persuasive speech impact and learn the optimal models of listening to the partner, to learn how to protect themselves from manipulation and most importantly – to get practical advice on conducting business conversations and negotiations.
5. “The Negotiator’s Compass. A book about negotiation, not about talking.
In the book, readers will learn not only about the results of accumulated practical experience, but also witness the internal dialogue about how to obtain sustainable results and long-term sales efficiency. Buy the book!
6. “Beyond Common Sense. How to Use Emotions in Negotiations” by Daniel Shapiro and Roger Fisher
The authors in their book show how when negotiators’ points of view do not coincide, you can turn emotions to mutual benefit and turn any conflicts of interest into new opportunities for all negotiators. From the publication you can learn about the five “basic needs” of the individual: evaluation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and role, and learn how to use them competently.
7. “Speaking Beautifully and Persuasively. How to Communicate and Speak Easily and Effectively” by Tatiana Jumma
The book tells how to overcome the psychological barrier, learn to communicate and find like-minded people, get rid of unnecessary anxiety and courage to address the audience and what is the secret to full interaction. This publication is useful to both beginners and gurus of communication. Buy the book!
8. “Speaking is easy! How to become a pleasant conversationalist, communicating confidently and relaxed.
The book is about the difficult art of making small talk. It teaches readers how to unite people, understand and trust each other, make new friends and strengthen friendships, avoid conflict and exchange opinions. This publication is addressed to all those who want to make small talk in an easy and relaxed manner and have difficulty communicating. Buy the book!
9. “How to Talk to Get Listened to” by Mike Clayton
This publication consists of four parts. In the first part, the author talks about speaking in general and talks about the peculiarities of human listening. The second part focuses on issues such as how to find the topic of conversation, attract attention, to convey their thoughts fascinating and convincing as well as to achieve effective results. Part three provides tips on how to talk using the knowledge from the previous chapters to get people to listen to you in a variety of situations. Part four is a brief summary of the book. Buy the book!
10. “Difficult Dialogues. What to say and how to say it when the stakes are high.”
This new edition of this bestselling book offers new tools to prepare for difficult negotiations, turn negative emotions into constructive dialogue, speak calmly about any subject, be persuasive but not rude, and make sure all parties are happy after a difficult dialogue. Buy the book!
11. “Tough Negotiations. Nothing personal – just business” by Alexey Rybkin and Oleg Emikh
In his book, the authors describe algorithms for negotiating with difficult partners and demonstrate models of interaction with different personality types. The publication contains a large number of examples from real life, which will allow the practical consideration of techniques and methods used by the negotiating parties.
12. “Say NO First. Secrets of Professional Negotiators” by Jim Camp
From this legendary book, readers will learn how to no longer depend on the uncontrollable outcome of negotiations and focus on what can be managed, how to conduct yourself at the negotiating table, how to lead your opponent with the right questions, and how to stand up to a strong opponent who uses pressure and manipulation. Buy the book!
13. “The Kremlin School of Negotiation” by Igor Ryzov
Practical publication, which teaches how to come out a winner of any negotiations, manage emotions, convert the struggle in a mutually beneficial cooperation, manage your opponent and negotiate with foreigners without committing errors. Buy the book!
14. “Negotiating with Monsters. How to Negotiate with the Powerful” by Igor Ryzov
This edition contains a variety of techniques and scenarios that allow you to be on an equal footing with the “monsters” and close the deal on terms of double win (the “win-win” technique). The author illustrates the techniques with historical and political cases. Readers learn how to resist the pressure of the “monsters”, get out of deadlocks in negotiations, respond to provocative questions, determine their own position even before the start of negotiations. Buy the book!
15. “I always know what to say. Book-training for successful negotiations Igor Ryzov.
At the heart of the publication – a powerful theoretical framework, complemented by bright, vivid examples and exercises. The book is structured so that immediately after completing the task to get feedback from the author with valuable pointers. Here you can learn basic strategies for intercepting, holding and managing attention in complex negotiation situations, as well as practice skills for controlling any negotiation.
16. “Tough Negotiations. How to get advantage in any circumstances” by Igor Ryzov
This book introduces readers to the special techniques of tough negotiations, which are also used by special services. It describes the basic strategies of interception, retention and management in complex negotiation situations. Readers learn how to master emotions and maintain relationships with business partners.
17. “How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” by Larry King
The author hosted the popular CNN talk show for many years and has had guest appearances by famous politicians, businessmen, athletes and artists. In his book he shares many secrets with readers. Buy the book!
18. “Negotiating Without Defeat. The Harvard Method” by Roger Fisher
The authors offer a simple and accessible method of principled negotiation to learn to view opponents as accomplices to the problem, not enemies. This method can be used in any situation, from discussing family vacation plans to resolving international conflicts. Buy the book!
19. “Sales, Negotiations. Practice, examples” Sergey Azimov.
The book – a unique practical tool from one of the best business coaches in Russia. Here readers will find a minimum of descriptive strategies and a maximum of specific speech techniques and blanks, which are found in sales and negotiations.
20. “The Art of the Verbal Attack. A Practical Guide” by Carsten Bredemeyer
This book is a new textbook on rhetoric from a renowned business coach, introducing readers to the constructive discussion techniques the author promotes in seminars for middle and senior managers. Buy the book!
21. “Black Rhetoric. The Power and Magic of Words” by Carsten Bredemeyer
The book features a new, unconventional approach that offers both beginners and professionals a successful combination of methods, techniques, and exercises to practice. After reading the books you will be able to see the power of the magic of words, improve your own perception and hone your debating style. Buy the book!
22. “Speak Like a God” by Ksenia Chernova
The key book on conducting effective negotiations, brilliant presentations and new perspectives of influence. From it you can learn how to instantly bring your voice on standby, manage emotions, speak before an audience without cribs, and most importantly – to speak clearly and competently. Buy the book!
23. “Negotiations. Games of hidden forces” Leonid Krol.
The quintessential book of the training “Individual Style and Dramaturgy of Negotiations. There are many cases, personas, stories, techniques, i.e. everything for successful negotiations and understanding people.
24. “The Science of Communication. How to read emotions, understand intentions and find common ground with people” by Vanessa Edwards
A book with a lot of usefulness. You can learn from it how to act at any event (party, business event and social situation), how to read emotions – read facial expressions and predict people’s emotions and how to talk to anyone.
25. “Dale Carnegie. The Complete Course in Communication Techniques” by Alexa Narbut, Douglas Moss
All of Dale Carnegie’s most important tips collected in thirty-three lessons, as well as practical exercises for practicing Carnegie’s principles. Here readers will find many exercises to awaken creativity, increase stress resistance, and the ability to maintain composure in all circumstances. Buy the book!
26. “Communication Genius. The art of attracting people and turning them into your allies” by Dave Kerpen
This edition presents eleven simple communication skills and succeed in all areas of life. The motto of the publication “Persuade and influence without suppressing. Buy the book!
27. “Difficult Negotiations in Comics. The book trainer Vladimir Solovyov.
At the core of the book is a technique that helps the author to work year after year with aggressive politicians and non-cooperative figures of business. Here you will learn how to define a clear goal and position, forget about the excitement, neutralize the aggression of the opponent and bring customers to pay. Buy the book!
28. “Communication Genius. How do you become one?” Steve Nakamoto
The book is filled with useful tips and concrete examples and helps readers unshakable confidence, easy to communicate with people of all levels, establish and maintain business contacts and romantic relationships. With its help you can accentuate their strengths and eliminate flaws, get rid of complexes and implement plans to cause others to love and respect. Buy the book!
29. “How to Talk to Anyone. Confident communication in any situation” Mark Rhodes
The book will help you understand the reasons that prevent you from communicating freely in a variety of situations, and explain how to make the voice work for its owner and cope with the pitfalls that are always found when talking face-to-face.
30. “Be the one they always say YES to. The Black Book of Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini, Steve Martin and Noah Goldstein
A book from the legendary author of the equally legendary Psychology of Influence teaches how to always get a positive response from your interlocutor, both in work and in life. Buy the book!
31. “The Psychology of Persuasion. 50 proven ways to be persuasive.”
This book teaches you how to handle the most difficult task with ease: building relationships with others honestly, ethically, and correctly. The publication is for anyone who wants to be persuasive: at work or at home, with loved ones or strangers, when speaking or writing.
32. “Communication. In Search of Common Ground” by Alexei Maximov
The author has created his own system of communication, which helps not only to get rid of loneliness, but also to change the worldview. With lectures on this topic, the author toured many cities in the country and the world.
33. “The Sixth Sense. An indispensable guide to communication skills” by Henrik Fexeus
The author is a famous Swedish psychologist and specialist in non-verbal communication. After reading the book, you will learn how to communicate effectively and master the subtle art of manipulating others. Buy the book!
34. “Psychology of business communication Evgeny Ilyin
This publication focuses on basic issues and problems of business communication. Particular attention is paid to business contacts, building relationships between superiors and subordinates, as well as between subordinates. Here in detail the most rational ways of communication between people in direct contacts and telephone conversations are considered. Also described features of leadership styles, production conflicts, business conversations and meetings. Buy the book!
35. “How to Get along with Everyone. Confidence and Charisma in Communicating with All Personality Types,” Catherine Stothart
Each part of the book describes the knowledge, principles, and skills you need to improve your communication, build confidence, and change your life. In the first part of the book are the four styles of interpersonal interaction. In the second part – the styles of interaction of others. The third part – tools and strategies for interacting in typical situations to influence and manage stress. Buy the book!
In conclusion.
We are confident that the books on this selection will be useful to you because communication has been, is and always will be in our lives. And if some book was not here, you can suggest in the comments to add it.
