The main signs of male infidelity
Signs of male infidelity are sometimes very difficult to identify. However, he who seeks, he will always find. Although there is another side to the coin: you can, on the contrary, to think of something superfluous and make a big deal out of it. Of course, it is important to understand that neither recognized beauties, nor perfect girls, nor exemplary hostesses and skilful mistresses are immune from treason. Therefore, every girl will be useful to know how to accuse a spouse of infidelity.
Today we will talk in detail about the real signs of “cheating”, which is far from always strengthening the marriage. Read carefully our article to learn how to distinguish the innocent flirting of your chosen one from the really alarming bells of real betrayal.
10 signs of male infidelity
The female half of mankind needs one constant partner, while most men are polygamous. There is an opinion that every married man at least once in his life dreams of another. It is possible that these thoughts are not destined to come true. But even this can change the attitude of a spouse to his wife, not to mention the fait accompli of adultery. However, it is difficult to hide the changed attitude from an attentive woman. She felt the changes through his gestures, facial expressions, behavior.
What are the obvious signs of adultery?
Forgetfulness. Memorable dates and important family events pass him by. Perhaps you began to repeatedly remind him of upcoming events. For example, about the need to order a cake for the weekend, because you are expecting guests for his son’s birthday. He has stopped wearing his wedding ring, putting it on a shelf or in a desk drawer.
“Tired at work.” You notice that your spouse is constantly busy at work to the point that there is simply no energy left for sex or going out together. He often complains about the lack of free time and fatigue.
Brooding. A sign of male infidelity can be considered his detachment from family life and everyday life. Husband can often lie on the couch, being in a deep thoughtfulness, previously not typical. It is difficult for him to think about the essentials, he does not hear your words and does not respond to jokes that previously enjoyed. Spouse as if separated from the family and withdrawn into himself.
Strange behavior. The husband’s usual behavior may change because of infidelity. If he is convinced that he made a mistake through the fault of the wife, which by their actions and attitudes provoked the betrayal, it becomes irritable, angry and even rude to his spouse. If the unfaithful husband believes his own intemperance and temperament as a reason for treason, it can be very caring, sweet and gentle. But if a man is sure that his treason happened by coincidence, by the will of fate, you may never notice the strange behavior or other suspicious facts.
Change of image. Has your husband suddenly started following fashion? Instead of the old sweater and jeans became interested in shirts and suits, and the word “barbershop” ceased to cause bewilderment? All of this could indicate the emergence of a new passion. Especially if, along with the change of image spouse began exercising, jogging in the morning, bought high quality shoes or expensive watches. Often it is a change of image is a clear sign of male infidelity.
There is a loss of trust in the couple. Not so long ago you could use your husband’s phone to make a call, but today it has a password on it. All mobile devices, mailboxes in the house were freely accessible, but today they have an access code. He never leaves his social media accounts open, explaining that his friends write to him without choosing their expressions, and he doesn’t want his children to accidentally see it.
Or says that the password on the e-mail is necessary because he conducts business correspondence with an important client and can not afford to be deleted, even if accidentally.
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My spouse used to leave his cell phone anywhere, but now he takes his smartphone with him to the bathroom and to the bathroom. Unexpected calls make him agitated, and after a text message is received, he leaves to answer or call back. Of course, you realize that he acts this way for a reason. You even try to talk, but you don’t get a reasonable explanation as to what dirt he is so carefully hiding. All of this together can be seen as a sign of male infidelity.
Started taking care of the car. The family car used to be a means of transportation. You didn’t keep a separate budget for car upgrades, you weren’t into expensive accessories, a comprehensive car wash, etc. But all of a sudden, your husband started running late for car repairs. He started making sure the car was tidy, went to get the interior cleaned and changed the covers. You began to notice that someone else was riding in the car, as the seat was pushed back and the radio was tuned to an unfamiliar wave. Your husband’s financial expenses have increased due to car repairs, and he often comes home closer to bedtime.
New habits. The familiar and familiar man you were willing to go through life with suddenly changed drastically. He started drinking coffee instead of tea, gave up swimming and bought a bicycle. His speech is full of new expressions, as if borrowed. Traits of self-confidence and independence appeared in him. If the new habits are alarming, you can safely consider them as signs of male infidelity.
Often in high spirits. There can be difficult times in the family, and the husband is suddenly in a good mood all the time. You want to understand what the reason for his cheerfulness and jokes, but he either evades the answer, or, conversely, tries to hide the source of joy.
Traces of another woman on the man’s body. He began to smell of women’s toilet water of a famous brand, there are traces of lipstick on his shirt, and there are scratches on his body. In some cases, the husband even goes to bed in his pajamas, hiding his naked body. No matter how hard he tries, no wife will miss the unfamiliar scent on her lover’s body, as it is a mark of trespassing. Scent can tell quite a bit about its wearer. And a wife can experience a lot of emotions upon discovering the scent on her shirt: anxiety, jealousy, or even envy.
However, the above-mentioned signs still can not indicate the fact of the infidelity in 100%. They are indirect. Yes, they can make a wife suspect her husband of infidelity, but to confirm the fact of adultery – no. Specifically indicate the fact of the mistress can only change behavior in bed.
10 tips on how to behave when you learn about a man’s infidelity
To think about the infidelity of a partner is always scary. It is especially difficult for those wives who are in a dependent position, for example, due to maternity leave. But what to do if you find out about the infidelity of a spouse? Remember – in no case do not arrange a scandal and hysterics. The best thing you can do – to keep calm. Take time to think about their own situation and make the right decision, which have no regrets. Emotional and jealous women can be extremely difficult to stay calm and it is not easy to give advice.
Psychologists have long been working on the signs of male infidelity and give advice on how to behave to a wife who found out about the existence of a mistress.
Think about male nature. Nature has endowed men with polygamy so that the human race is not interrupted. It is quite natural for a male to be interested in two or three beauties at the same time. If you are not mistaken in what you found the signs of adultery in men, think about the fact that the fight against natural instincts is not easy.
Accept what happened. Accept what happened as an unchangeable fact. No need to imagine how and under what circumstances it happened. Yes, the man was unfaithful, but it is possible that he did not mean to hurt you. It is rare to meet a truly faithful husband. They are passionate people and often act impulsively and are influenced by their environment. We are all imperfect and not immune to mistakes.
Think about the reason for the infidelity. Try to look at the world through a man’s eyes. Is everything in your relationship as perfect as you thought it was? Or maybe your views with her husband on how to build a family, diametrically different, and the reason for treason lies in this? Do you know what your husband wants and aspires to? When was the last time you asked him that? Of course, you can see all the signs of adultery and consider your spouse a scoundrel, but this will not solve the problems that exist and certainly will not help to establish a trusting relationship.
Read books on psychology. High-quality literature can help you understand yourself, or at least distract from thinking. You will not heal the wounds overnight, but you may see a way out of the impasse. There is no need to buy up mountains of literature, a few copies will suffice for starters. Books in practical psychology will change your thoughts on the positive, will give you confidence in your abilities and help you fight for the future. Advice from professionals will find a new vector of development, to understand what really can be seen as a sign of male infidelity and where there is a hidden way out of the crisis in the relationship.
Do not give in to weakness. Maintain dignity and restraint. Don’t make scandals, especially in public. First of all, it takes away your strength, and secondly, fighting in front of other people will make you look bad. Moreover, parental scandals traumatize children who then carry it into their adult life. Act deliberately and stay calm.
Don’t put the man in front of a choice. You feel like a victim and your husband is a traitor. This is true, but only half true, because infidelity is a test for both in a couple. Be wiser, don’t push and don’t put a choice in front of you. It is possible that the husband has not even thought about breaking up with you, showing weakness. In this case, an ultimatum can make him angry and push him to break up.
Reduce the level of aggression. Spectacular plate smashing, pogroms in the kitchen, and loud screaming are only interesting on TV. Aggressive and bitter women cause men to cringe. You don’t really want to take care of a woman with a “beastly grin”. There is a need to get rid of negativity? Let off steam at the training, scream in a deserted park, let the tears flow, being alone in the apartment. Stay calm even when you only suspect infidelity or notice signs of male infidelity.
Do not hesitate. No one can answer the question – to forgive cheating or not. Only you have to decide what you really need. But after you have decided, cast doubt, do not give in to other people’s opinions and be true to yourself. Sober view of the situation and self-control will help achieve what we want, regardless of whether you’ll fight for the family or make the decision to leave.
Do not think of a rival. Trying to get close to your husband’s mistress is useless and even dangerous. Do not call her, do not offer meetings, do not write messages and do not agree to talk if the initiative comes from her side. Getting to know her will increase your pain, make you jealous and look for flaws in yourself.
Take revenge. This is the most radical method you can use to restore peace. If none of the above helps, cheat on your husband with another. The fact of your own infidelity will allow you to look at the infidelity with different eyes. But by no means tell your husband about it in an attempt to hurt him. Your action should be a secret for all, so as not to affect the relationship with his spouse.
As a rule, a woman immediately begins to catch the first signs of male infidelity, even if the partner is trying by all means to hide it. The spouse can control the external factors indicating infidelity, but the wife feels that something has changed.
However, do not try to take action based only on feelings and intuition. It is possible that this side of you is underdeveloped. Assumptions subconscious can not be used as evidence, but only as a reason to look closely and be more careful.
Remember, the signs of male infidelity – not yet proof of infidelity, but only a symptom. It also happens that a man does not give himself at any point or, conversely, behaves as if he is absolutely free. If there is suspicion, it is important to become more sensitive and considerate and watch for a while, and then have a trusting conversation with your partner.
How to calculate the cheating husband or wife? The first signs
I have a 7-year journalistic background. I perfectly navigate a media-information stream, including the analysis of foreign sources.
The expert – Victoria Fomina
A physician of the highest category, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples to solve problems in sexual life.
So, you have suspicions that you are being tricked. How to determine where the end of idle paranoia and the voice of intuition begins?
Of course, every case is unique. However, there are common signs that may indicate that your partner is cheating on you. These include:
- Sudden changes in appearance
Working out at the gym, eating right, and a general sudden preoccupation with appearance can certainly indicate something else as well. Maybe your other half wanted to refresh your relationship and rekindle the passion in it. Maybe all that hard work is for you. However.
If your spouse pays special attention to his/her appearance when he/she spends time without you, you should be careful. This new, beautiful lingerie…is it really meant for your eyes?
- Pervasive phone use
Partners don’t have to give each other their social media passwords, because everyone has the right to privacy. You don’t have the right to demand that he/she let you read his/her private correspondence with his/her friends. That’s right. However…
The person who begins to double-cross often seems to merge with his or her phone. He begins to carry it with him everywhere and everywhere, even if before he didn’t have such an all-consuming love for gadgets. Correspondence is deleted, browser history is regularly cleared, and previously unpassworded laptops and smartphones suddenly have passwords on them? Hmm, that looks suspicious.
Of course, you shouldn’t be so quick to rush right off the bat. What if they’re preparing a surprise for you, like an anniversary or a birthday? Hope dies last.
- Missed calls and unanswered messages
You are increasingly ignored and fed excuses like a dead battery or a bad connection. Your inquiries piss off your partner and lead to scandals. And when your spouse stays late at work or is away on business, it’s like you cease to exist. A few short texts or dry calls are all you can count on…
Needless to say, this is a bad sign? Especially if that person has never been a workaholic.
- Changes in sex.
A sign of cheating can be both an increase and a decrease in the level of sexual activity in a couple. How does this work? In a couple in which one spouse is cheating, sex disappears often because the cheater is focused on the other person. But he may try to hide it – he will start paying more attention to his partner, initiate sex more often, etc.
Another possible sign of cheating is the loss of emotional intimacy that is felt during sex.
Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior. They often begin to shift the blame for their cheating to their partner. They convince themselves that the irreparable thing happened because their spouse neglected themselves, stopped trying harder in bed, etc. “I’m not appreciated here, so I deserve to have fun on the side,” is what they tell themselves.
These excuses, which initially live only in the cheating partner’s head, eventually leak out. The cheating partner begins to criticize and judge their partner more and more.
- Changes in the daily schedule
The person who cheats has to constantly get out of it. Hence – sudden delays at work, business trips that never happened, fake trips to the gym, etc.
The cheater may also start missing important events like birthdays and anniversaries (because his head is full of other things) and forgetting to pick up his children from school.
- Strange looks from friends
The cheating partner is usually the last to know everything. What can not be said about the friends and girlfriends of the “walker”. Often they have to cover for the cheating partner, make excuses and brazenly lie in the eyes of the cheating spouse.
Do you feel that your partner’s friends are somehow uncomfortable being around you? Have they become overly accommodating? Avoid talking about your relationship?
Things are smokin’ hot.
- Weird spending of money.
Does your partner refuse to talk about their spending and their excuses don’t seem very believable? Well, what do you want? Cheating is expensive: hotel rooms, romantic surprises, wine and other pleasures of life cost a lot of money!
If an expense analysis tells you that your partner often withdraws large sums of cash and visits places you never go, it looks suspicious.
- Loss of emotional intimacy
Initial passion may fade over time, but attachment and trust take its place. We learn to open up to each other and share our deepest feelings. This is called building a strong emotional connection.
If a partner suddenly begins to close, distant and stops to share his secrets and desires, it shows that his focus has shifted. Perhaps to the other person.
- Refusal to engage in dialogue
When suspicions and doubts make you go crazy, there comes a point when keeping it all inside becomes simply impossible. You strike up a conversation on the subject with your partner. What kind of reaction do you get in response?
If he or she tries to blame you for your feelings, that is a bad sign. Manipulation and inappropriate jokes are the same. Yes, accusations of cheating can make even someone who has nothing to hide angry. But the aggressive reaction and refusal to have a calm dialogue can show that the partner really has something to hide.
Important: Even if you put a check mark next to each item in your mind, it does not guarantee that you are being cheated on. Do not go on the attack and blame your partner for all the sins. But talk about your relationship and find out why you were in such a precarious position, it is worth it.